


Rebirth

by Chuui



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Drama, F/M, Rebirth, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:05:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuui/pseuds/Chuui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy and Riza had survived so much in the past, all they wanted now was not to waste the precious moments they had together from this moment onward. Unfortunately, things never did go as planned as things take a turn for the worse as Roy tries to put his life back together after his happiness is taken away from him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Sometimes she wondered if she deserved this happy ending.

She was alive. He was alive. They were both alive, together. He held her in his arms as he slept beside her. She simply watched him sleep, softly breathing in and out. Perfect, she decided. He was perfect. She didn't care what he thought about himself, what he thought he deserved, in her mind he was perfect. She could accept everything they had done, everything they had been through, and just simply enjoy moments like this. He loved her, he told her this the night before they ended up in her bed, tangled in each other. She couldn't recall any other moment in her life where she had been so happy, to be with him, and not hiding what they truly felt about each other. She couldn't imagine any life without him; in fact, she wouldn't even have a life without him. That's why the serenity of this morning after scene caressed her soul with a sense of warmth, that this was what she wanted to wake up to for the rest of her life.

He turned and his arms pulled her closer to him as his head snuggled into her chest. She smiled, it seemed as though she wouldn't be going anywhere just as yet. She didn't mind though, sometimes she wished they could just lie in bed together all day. Alas, they had work to do. The rebuild in Ishval was well underway and the only time they could actually relax were these nights that they shared together. Buildings were being erected and jobs were being created, the misplaced Ishvalans were slowly returning back to their homeland ready to start a new life on the earth where their old ones ended, rid of all the destruction that happened many years prior. Atoning for all the lives she took here in Ishval, she would never forgive herself but this was at least a start. She knew Roy was in no mood to get up but she decided they had to rise now and start another day of work.

"Roy, Roy, wake up." She said sternly while giving his shoulder a bit of a shake.

He then groaned before muttering something that sounded like "Rizafivemoreminutesplease".

"Roy, you need to get up now-"She was cut off by Roy pulling her up on top of him as he kissed her.

"Good morning to you too." He said with a smirk on his face.

"I was serious Roy, it's past seven and we need to be at the headquarters by eight." She said trying to ignore the kisses he was peppering down her neck.

"Fine fine, I'm getting up, but since we're so late we should shower together, halve the time we take." There was that lopsided smirk again, she was surprised his face wasn't stuck like that from the amount of times he flashed that grin at her.

"Roy, do you really expect me to trust you not to try anything in the shower, because if that's the case it's going to end up taking double the time anyways."

"Don't worry; I'm sure I can accomplish everything I want to do before we have to leave..." His eyebrow rose at his own statement.

She gave in and walked to the bathroom, Roy following behind her like a loyal canine.

* * *

She had her uniform on and her hair up in the usual updo and was eating breakfast when Roy came waltzing back into her room.

"Roy, I thought you said you were leaving to get dressed and head out."

"And miss eating Breakfast with you? I'd think not."

Roy had planned their lodgings is Ishval carefully, they were the only people on the top floor of the military housing and their rooms were right next to each other. This left only one wall separating them, in which Roy alchemized a door so that they had adjoining rooms and could freely walk between each other's spaces without raising a lot of questions. They were still being secretive about their relationship since the fraternization laws still applied, but they knew that if someone did decide to report them, even if it went straight to Fuhrer Grumman nothing would happen. In fact he'd probably be pleased and encourage the behaviour even more. They were mostly still keeping it under wraps for themselves.

They were still new to being so intimate with each other after all these years of having a strictly professional relationship. They always had feelings for each other, she knew that, but they never thought them actually being together would ever be a possibility. After almost losing each other so many times they realized life was too short and decided to come clean and start embracing these feelings for whatever time they had left, since there were no more real obstacles standing in the way. They casually avoided the subject of ever making anything official though. It's not like she never thought about it, getting married and having a family of her own. The relationship they had seemed well beyond that it was almost silly to even consider it, what would a legal document change about their relationship, it was already as official as it could be. Roy was the type to like these types of things; she was surprised he hadn't brought it up yet. They were both just living in the moment and enjoying each other's company for now she guessed, not wanting to ruin the moment with such serious questions about the future.

As for kids, she decided a while ago that she would probably never have any. It was kind of sad to admit but she wouldn't have any time for children if Roy was to continue his journey to become Fuhrer, and she was going to be by his side protecting him the entire time. By the time Roy did reach the top she would probably have missed her chance at having children. It wouldn't matter in the end is what she always told herself, and as long as she had Roy she would be content.

"Riza, you okay?" Roy disrupted her thoughts and brought her back to the real world.

"Yeah I'm fine I was just... thinking about something."

Roy knew she didn't want to be questioned further and decided to leave it at that and continued eating his breakfast in silence.

* * *

They both arrived at Ishval headquarters just in time to meet Scar and Miles for the day's debriefing on what had to be done and reviewed.

"General Mustang sir, you have orders from central." A soldier appeared behind them and said firmly.

"And what would those orders be?" Roy questioned.

"You are to meet with Fuhrer Grumman in central as soon as possible, sir."

He glanced over at Riza to see her looking as confused as he did. "What would this meeting be about and why so suddenly?"

"He just said it was extremely urgent that you see him now and has already arranged for your train ticket for this afternoon, sir."

He put a hand a hand on his forehead and groaned, "I guess if their orders from the Fuhrer himself I'll have to comply, he better not be lonely and just want to play a game of chess, I'm actually pretty busy up here."

"With all due respect sir, I'm sure there is something important that has come up if he's calling you to Central now of all times." Riza interjected.

"Your train will be leaving at exactly 1400 hours, sir." The soldier had held his salute the entire time and you could see his hand start to shake.

Roy must've noticed and finally ordered him to leave before groaning once again.

"Guess that's that. He didn't say anything about more than one ticket so it looks like you'll be staying here in my place, sure you'll be okay?"

"Sir, contrary to what most believe I am not entirely dependent on you and I'm perfectly capable of handling things on my own."

"Actually, I was just wondering if you would miss me." He arched a playful eyebrow at her. "Besides, everyone knows not to mess with the Hawk's Eye."

She couldn't help but let a small smile crawl onto her face, "It's not like I'll never see you again sir, and you'll probably be on a train back here in two days. I believe I'm the one who should be worried for your safety, after all you always need someone to be watching your back."

"I think the flame alchemist can handle himself for two days, but I'm guessing that's a yes then."

She shot him a questioning look.

"You will miss me."

She refused to meet his eyes as she turned to walk away.

"I'd suggest you start packing if you're to catch that train this afternoon, General."

He smiled to himself and threw her a salute "As you say, Captain."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

"Are you up for a game of chess General?"

Roy sat in Fuhrer Grumman's office waiting for him to deliver the critical news, but he found himself sorely disappointed when he saw how relaxed Grumman looked as he walked into the office.

"Fuhrer sir, I hope you didn't have me come all the way out here during the final stages of the restoration just so you could rack up your wins against me." Roy was starting to doubt the importance of this meeting.

"Ah! Eager as always my boy, in that case I'll get right to the point of why I called you here. It's about Captain Hawkeye actually, and your relationship with her."

He tried to keep a straight face but failed. Did Grumman know about their secret relationship? "Um, I don't know what you're talking about sir; our relationship is strictly professional..."

"Relax my boy! You're not in trouble, not by any means. I just have to make sure; you love her, don't you?"

At this Roy simply stared at the man for asking such an intimate question so abruptly.

"I-"Roy stammered.

"Ha! Sorry for asking such a silly question, I'm pretty sure everyone in eastern command is aware of the answer to that one. That brings me to my next order of business." Grumman opened his desk drawer and slid a piece of paper across the desk so Roy could see it.

"What's this?" Roy asked.

"It's a permission form of sorts came up with it myself. Go ahead take a look."

Roy scanned the words of the paper and was stunned at what he read. "Fuhrer, are you even allowed to do this?"

"I can do anything I want, and yes the form is one hundred percent authentic. It's kind of an exclusion form, all you need to do is sign it, and get Captain Hawkeye's signature and you will be legally exempt from the fraternization rules."

"I... Hawkeye? Does that mean..." Roy couldn't find the right words.

"Yes, you can get married, and have a public relationship."

Roy was silent.

So many thoughts were swirling around in his head. The barrier between them for all these years was finally broken and it was... not as liberating as he hoped. The thought of making it official didn't sit right with him at all; his innermost thought were starting to crawl back out of the hole in the back of his brain that he thought he had sealed forever after the promised day, after he decided he should live the rest of his life in prosperity regardless of his past, for what they had could be cut short at any moment. He imagined himself married, to the women he loved so much, the sheer joy was overwhelming and he couldn't face it.

He wasn't worthy of that kind of happiness.

"Sir..." He slowly slid the paper back across the table. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to... decline."

"And why is that?" Grumman kept a straight face, as if he knew this was coming.

"I... she doesn't deserve someone like me. I'm truly a monster for the things I've done in the past. She can do better that be with me for the rest of her life."

"You're being really selfish my boy, I hope you realize that."

At that statement Roy was taken back quite a bit. He continued before he had the chance to reply.

"You're not thinking about what my granddaughter wants when you say things like that. You may think that you don't deserve to be with her but she loves you. She knows you have blood on your hands, she knows about all the details of your past, and yet she still loves you. I know for a fact that she will never be with anyone else but you, so even if you can never be happy with yourself please don't make Riza suffer the same faith."

"I never meant to make her unhappy. It's just..."

"It's just you. You need to stop wallowing in a hole of despair you're entire life. The past is the past, there's nothing you can do to change it. _Please_ , don't screw up the future too."

Grumman's words hit Roy at full speed, knocking his thoughts into a place they had never been. He was right, _damn it_ he was right. This whole time he was determined he should be the most miserable man alive because he didn't deserve to be happy, except Riza told him they shouldn't waste away their lives because of the past. They both had blood on their hands, they both did terrible things. If they didn't do terrible things in the past, they wouldn't even be here to remember such things. He always had a dream for a future where everyone was happy, why couldn't that include him?

He valued Riza's happiness well above his own, a truth that will reign forever.

Grumman noticed Roy lost in thought and decided to speak up, trying to dampen the harshness of his last statement. "Besides, you want to be Fuhrer someday right? In that case you're going to need a wife! The people don't trust a man to make a commitment to the country if he can't even keep a commitment to a significant other."

Roy finally let a half smirk slip onto his face. "Hey, I don't see you with a woman by your side yet you're on top of the country."

"Hey! I'm a widower, that's completely different. Anyways, are you going to sign this thing or not?" Grumman had already slid the paper back across the table and was holding out a pen.

Roy took the pen a scribbled his signature across the bottom, feeling as though a huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders.

"Excellent! I can't wait to meet my great grandchildren!"

"Hey hey, we aren't even married yet, who said we're even going to be having children? We're high ranking military officers; we don't have time for children."

"Didn't you even read the form before you signed it boy? Section four states that in order for the agreements to be applicable you must have some offspring."

"What?!" Roy grabbed the form off the table and started reading through all the fine print at an alarming speed.

"Ha! Relax boy that was a joke, but please don't write off the idea so quickly. I won't be around forever and I would love some children to tell all my old military stories to."

Roy calmed down after almost tearing two holes through the sheet where his fingers were gripping too hard. "I'll keep that in mind sir, but don't get your hopes up." In all honestly he wanted children as well, a blend of him and Riza looked so perfect in his mind, but it seemed like an unreasonable dream considering what their jobs required.

"I guess you'll be heading right back to Ishval now."

He would be, now all he wanted to do was get back to Riza to tell her the good news, except...

"I'm actually going to stop by the jewelers first, I can't properly propose without a ring can I?"

"Atta boy! You have a bunch of cenz saved up don't you? I hope you buy the biggest rock they have."

"I'm pretty sure the Captain will kill me if I blew all my savings on a ring for her." Roy finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, completely at peace with his decision in the end.

Roy threw Grumman a salute before exiting his office with more of a bounce in his step and a smile that he just couldn't keep off his face.

* * *

Roy kept patting his inner pocket where the small velvet box he had just purchased now rested. The train ride to Ishval felt so excruciatingly long when he was this excited. Picking out the perfect ring had taken a bit longer than expected and he missed the train he originally wanted to go back on in favour of a later one. Now he was just trying to figure out how he was going to ask her, was he going to go with tradition and get down on one knee or perhaps a cleverly timed sentence where he admits he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and then whips out the ring? Was he going to do it in public? No, Riza would probably prefer something more secluded...

His thoughts were interrupted by one of the train staff knocking on his cabin door.

"General! There's an urgent phone call for you on line one! "

It seems as though the urgent phone calls were just following him around at this point.

He picked up the phone to hear an extremely distressed Havoc on the other side.

"General Mustang here, what's going on over there?"

"Bad news sir, headquarters was attacked by some Ishvalan rebels, they tried also tried to take down the factory that you're having built. It was quite the ruckus and we have quite a number of soldiers who were injured in the clash, no casualties though."

"Of course! As soon as I leave they decide to attack. Were you able to track them down?"

"Yes sir, actually we have captured all of those involved so everything seems to be under control at the moment."

"If everything is okay now why did you need to speak to me so urgently?!"

"Sir, please remember we're doing everything we can right now to help the situation and I just want you to remain calm for what I'm about to tell you."

Roy knew that tone of Havoc's voice. Something was wrong, very wrong, far beyond the attack, the damages, and the injured soldiers. Roy took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly but it ended up sounding more menacing than he intended.

"Havoc, tell me what the problem is, _now_."

Havoc breathed heavily into the receiver, he could hear him. In. Out.

"Captain Hawkeye is missing."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

You never realized how much you miss something until it's gone.

All these years, Riza had slept by herself, but as soon as she started sleeping with Roy she didn't want to sleep alone ever again. There was always his warmth to cling to on the other side of the bed and it just felt awful reaching out and feeling the emptiness when there should be someone there to hold.

She didn't usually have trouble sleeping except for the occasional night terrors she experienced but tonight just felt off. He could read her like a book; she missed him, _a lot_. Perhaps she should've bought herself some tickets and went to Central with him, I mean how much could they both miss in two days? No, she has to make sure nothing goes wrong here, those were the orders. Why is this bed so chilly though? This was a desert, I thought it was always supposed to be warm, but the nights here were almost unbearably cold. Roy was coming back soon, right? She could just picture him getting off the train right now, she would make sure and show him exactly how much she missed him...

Her thoughts were interrupted by three loud knocks on her door.

"Captain Hawkeye! Wake up! We need you at headquarters now!"

She sprang out of bed and opened the door to find a very serious looking soldier.

"What happened?!"

"Captain, we have little time to chat. Headquarters has been attacked and we don't have enough people there to hold them off, we need you're assistance right away."

"Okay, let me just get ready and I'll come." She started to walk back into her house.

"There's no time! We need you to come before things really get really messy, you're the best we have on security detail."

She understood that the situation was dire and even though she felt a bit silly she just grabbed her belt with two guns and strapped it over her pyjamas and bolted out the door. She was sure if she needed anything else they would have some supplies down at headquarters.

* * *

The place was literally a mess. The night guards had done all they could but the perpetrators seemed to have the upper hand still, everyone was scrambling around trying to relay orders or receive orders as half the people on base wandered in half asleep. They really had to attack in the middle of the night? Actually that was pretty smart of them, attack while we're the least prepared.

As soon as she got there she met up with Havoc and Breda who were trying to distribute soldiers as best they could to hold the rebels back.

"Hawkeye!" Havoc called out to her. "Glad you could make it—nice pyjamas."

"Havoc this _really_ isn't the time. How did you have time to get dressed and down here before me anyways?"

"I live in the regular housing, not on the very top floor secluded from everyone but you're superior officer with whom you say everything is strictly professional but everyone else finds it really hard to believe." At this Riza simply scoffed. "Seriously though, you were probably the last to be notified, these guys have been here causing a wreck for almost an hour."

"Any idea who these guys are? Please don't tell me it's more of the rebels."

"Nope, it's them alright. When will they understand that we're here trying to help them? I guess there's always a few that aren't able to forgive." More gunshots could be heard, they were starting to get inside.

"I need you two to focus all the ground soldiers on getting them rounded up, please make sure that there are no fatal shots, just try to handicap them if you can. I'm going to be heading to the roof to if I can pick some off from up there; we have to make sure they don't get any farther inside. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" Breda and Havoc said simultaneously, before they all split off to work on their given tasks.

* * *

She scanned the area around the base through her scope one last time, once everyone got here and orders had been relayed rounding up all the Ishvalans attacking wasn't too hard of a task. Most of them were now being sent to the medical tents to be treated for their wounds. They would all be held there until they spoke up about their motives, and if they refused to come to peace after that they will be sent to a prison in East city. Mustang was very adamant on trying to keep a good relationship with the Ishvalans now that they were trying to regain their trust, unfortunately you can't have everyone on your side.

It was then she noticed out of the corner of her sight, one of the rebels, she wasn't sure how he escaped them thus far. There was something in his hand it looked like... a grenade.

She ran back down in the main hub of the building and started yelling for everyone to get away from the east side of the building. It was pandemonium yet again as officers scrambled out of the east side when she heard the loud bang of the explosives going off. Nobody had been where the explosion originated from but there were some that didn't make it out quickly enough to escape the flames.

"Quickly! Get the doctors over the east side immediately, I don't think he had anything else on him, I'm going after him."

"Wait, Hawkeye! It's still dangerous out there—"Breda yelled as he ran down the hallway after her.

"We can't let him get away!" And with that she left him behind as she ran off to into the cool desert night.

* * *

She decided the sniper rifle she got from headquarters wouldn't be any good in a chase so she decided to drop that off and depend on the two guns strapped to her torso instead. She ran past the flames into the darkness of the desert after the black shadow escaping into the midnight.

"Stop!" She yelled. He was pretty fast but she was able to keep up with him. She fired off a warning shot hopeful that he'd just turn himself in to avoid injury; instead he made a sharp turn into a forested area.

They must've been near the edge of where Ishvalan lands ended and it lead into a grassier areas such as Resembool. She followed right behind him but seemed to lose him amidst the trees. She cursed to herself; she couldn't let him get away, that when she heard his voice.

"Filthy military scum! You've got some stamina if you were able to follow me all the way out here."

She didn't realize how hard she was breathing or how far she had just run. "Show yourself!" She pointed her gun towards where she thought the voice was coming from.

"Relax miss, I mean no harm to a pretty lady like you. Just put the gun down and we can be friends."

"I said, show yourself!" She clicked the safety off her gun and was about to shoot into the woods when someone shoved her hard from behind. Ignoring the pain she got up almost immediately onto one knee and shot in the direction the person had just appeared from. She heard him scream in pain as it became clear she had clipped his midsection with her bullet.

"Damn you! I gave you a chance to be friendly..." Hr grabbed her collar with one arm and grabbed her wrist and twisted with the other, making her drop her gun. He made sure he held her down so she wouldn't be able to grab her other gun.

"Damn all of you guys, invading our territory again! There's no fixing what you did in the past, yet you refuse to leave us alone! We want nothing to do with you! Now we have no choice but to try and flush you guys out, and this time I'm confident we will come out on top."

At this point she was wriggling around in his grasp trying to get away that his hand slipped off her collar, and she was able to deliver a firm kick to his side and make a run for it. She reached for her other gun only to feel an empty holster.

"Looking for this miss? I'm sorry, you didn't think I'd let you keep this did you?" Blood was evenly pouring out of his wound, he probably would collapse from blood loss soon but he still had enough energy to point her gun at her. She started backing away slowly, close and closer to where the forest started clearing up, the trees getting scarcer.

Her foot took another step back, but there was no ground for it to land on. She took a second to peer behind her and realized she was staring down the ledge of a steep cliff, nowhere left to run.

"I'm sorry, but looks like you're time here is up." He pointed the gun, and fired the shot.

Weighing her options for a split second, she jumped out of the way of the bullet, over the cliff.

As she fell she wondered if she should have just taken the bullet, it would have been an appropriate way for her to go, after all of the lives she ended with them herself. She just couldn't stay in the way, she had to do something; it seemed silly to her now that this was what she thought was the better option. She was going to die as soon as she hit the ground, if she didn't hit one of the pointed rocks before that.

Just then she felt herself stop, all the air being pushed out of her lungs. What? She looked up see her belt had caught on one of the edges about half way down, stopping her completely. Now she was dangling off the side of the cliff, honestly not that much better than before. She saw a small ledge to the side, maybe if she could reach it with her good hand she would be able to climb up and call for help. She reached out as far as she could her fingertips almost making contact with the surface. Just a little bit more...

_Snap._

Her belt broke, and she continued to plummet to the bottom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

It would have been an understatement to say that Roy was in a state of sorts.

A state in which he felt like the life was slowly draining out of him with each moment she was still missing.

As soon as he got off the train and was greeted by his subordinates, all he could say was, "Where is she? Did you find her?"

To this he received a couple of solemn nods.

"We're still looking chief, but I wouldn't worry, I'm sure Hawkeye can handle herself." Havoc bravely contributed.

"If she was handling herself fine, she wouldn't have been gone this long without any explanation."

The look on their faces relayed the fact that they did agree, but didn't want to say anything. Riza Hawkeye didn't just disappear without a trace.

"Damn it! I want every single soldier on this base out searching for her."

"Sir, I don't think we can really do that—"Breda tried to say.

"Listen, I don't care if I need to go get special permission from the Fuhrer himself, I'm giving you an order and you're going to listen. Understood?" He knew he had that look in his eyes, but he didn't care what people thought of his demeanor, with every second that passed the chances of finding her alive were dropping.

"Yes sir." Most of them scrambled off to start putting together more search parties but Havoc simply stared at him.

"Sir, please don't do anything reckless. We're going to find her alive, I promise."

"You promise? You're sure she's still alive? How in the hell did this even happen? Were you the one who let her run off on her own?

"As I said before, Hawkeye can handle herself and we didn't think anything could go wrong. The last thing she would want is you not being able to function without her, if we can't find her by the end of the night you'll have to go back to your post and continue you're job here in Ishval." Havoc was the only one other than Riza who could try to talk his emotions down.

"I can't just go on as if nothing happened! She was my bodyguard! My most valuable subordinate! My... we have to find her. I'll comb every inch of this desert myself if you guys want to give up so easily."

"Listen, I know exactly how you feel about her and I know this is tough, but you can't just abandon your post. We're still recovering from the attack last night and we need you here to lead the restoration. You need to focus on the task at hand; the search parties will do their job."

"And what if they can't find her?" Roy almost didn't want to hear the answer to that question.

"Sir, you have goals and I know Hawkeye would never forgive you if you abandoned them because of her. If they can't find her you have to move forward."

Roy was furious, clenching his fist so tightly he almost popped a vein. He couldn't fathom a future without her, he had goals yes but they all meant nothing to him without her by his side. To just lose her to the unknown like this was not what he imagined. He finally accepted a future where they both live in contentment and this was what he was rewarded with.

If there was a sign he really didn't deserve to be happy this was it.

"I'm going to look for her, don't you dare stop me until the morning. If we haven't found her by then I'll return to my post, but trust me, we're going to find her."

He didn't even have faith in his own words.

* * *

It was three hours before dawn when they found the body.

One of her guns lay on the forest floor and the other one rested atop the right hand of the man they had found. He died from blood loss, a gunshot wound on his side deep enough he didn't have a chance. He was an Ishvalan, likely a rebel who would never be identified, a castaway from a nearby Ishvalan camp. The details weren't that important, all Roy knew was that this was the last man to see Riza Hawkeye alive and they would not be getting any kind of information out of him. Yet another setback he couldn't properly comprehend.

All of this was a dream, he told himself. They now had her at the edge of a cliff, a man with a gun in his hand, and chances were looking slim that she was even alive. They had sent a crew down to investigate the bottom of the cliff; in fact the words he heard them say were along the lines of _retrieving the body._ It wasn't a premature statement, where else could she have gone but down that cliff? He'd peered over the edge, if she had fallen right down to the bottom there was no way she would have survived. If she had hit one of the jagged edges on the way down there was no way she would have survived. If she had not gone over the cliff the man would have shot her, and there was no way she would have survived.

He reprimanded his thoughts, this was not a dream. This was a nightmare. The worst nightmare he had ever had, and that was saying a lot. This was the worst one because it was true. He had left for two days, came back ready to start a life with her and now she was gone. His shadow always hovering two steps behind him was gone. To lose your shadow is to lose your being, to cease to exist. If you don't cast a shadow you are nothing, which was exactly how he felt without her. His knees hit the ground as his palms followed soon after. He simply stared at the earth, unable to process everything that was going through his mind.

"General? General! Are you okay?"

He felt the pain subsiding, his body surrendering the numbness crawling up his skin.

"General Mustang! Answer me now!"

He was almost thankful that he could no longer feel a thing; the agony would have been too much to handle.

"Someone help! Something is wrong with him!"

His soul had departed from his body.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

The last thing she remembered was falling. She hit the ground and the world went black.

She was sure this was hell.

Heaven probably felt like freedom, a place where those who have lived graciously can be eternally blessed. She knew it was a place she would never get to see, the things she had done would always be attached to her being and this was what she deserved. The darkness surrounded her, there was nothing here. It chilled her to the bone; you would think that it could be much worse than this, just left completely alone in darkness, nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide, abandoned for the rest of eternity. If this was what she deserved then she would accept it. Sitting in solitude her thoughts kept flashing back to Roy, how she was dedicated to his dream, how she promised to follow him into hell. It was unfortunate really; she had made it here prematurely. She hoped with all her heart that he wouldn't lose sight of his dreams and follow her soon after.

It was then all her emotions hit her at once. She was gone, he was gone. Everybody was gone. This was truly the end of the road; there was nothing left for her. She hadn't fulfilled her purpose in life yet, all she wanted was to see Roy reach his goal and she had failed. She had been careless and it ultimately lead to her demise. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it didn't matter anymore. There was nobody there to see her moment of weakness; she could just let it all out. It couldn't just end like this, she couldn't accept it. All she wanted was a second chance.

As if someone had heard her pleas, she saw the light.

She knew what to do, she ran. The light covering more and more of the darkness as she got closer, she reached her arms out, the warmth engulfing her whole.

Her life was renewed.

* * *

The first feeling that registered in her mind was pain. Her head throbbed immensely and she felt like she was just going to pass out again as soon as she woke up. Even though her head was the epicentre of pain, her entire body ached and she hadn't the will to even try to move. Her eyes creaked open just a bit just to be blinded by the sudden brightness of the real world. There was a lot of bustling around her; she could make out various voices.

"Why did you bring an Amestrian woman here?" A man shouted.

"She was unconscious at the bottom of a cliff and bleeding from her head, still barely breathing. We couldn't have just left her there. She was moment away from death and if we hadn't saved her she would be gone." A lady replied.

"Don't you understand that the only Amestrians out here right now are in the military? This woman could be one of them, waiting to rat us out as soon as she wakes up. If there is one thing I will not stand for is falling into another trap set up by these damned Amestrians." The rage in his voice was crystal clear.

"Don't be ridiculous! This woman is not wearing a military uniform nor is she carrying any weapons. I'll be honest I'm not sure where she came from but do you really think we have a trained killer on our hands?" The lady didn't need to raise her voice to talk back with the same amount of malice the man had in his.

"Brina, Brina! Is the lady going to be alright?" A voice of a young girl entered the scene.

"Amerie, how many times have I told you that you can't come in here while I'm working?" The lady suddenly distracted from the heated conversation she was having.

"I know, I know, but Nana wanted me to go check on her! I swear."

"Well, you can go tell your Nana that she's going to be a little worse for wear, but she will pull through."

"Oh thank goodness! I was so worried! I mean, Nana was really more worried than me but I was also worried BUT not as much as Nana..."

"Okay Amerie I understand, now can you please leave? I was in the middle of an important conversation."

"I'm really sorry! I'm leaving right now! See, look I'm walking away, tell me when she wakes up! I want to talk to her!"

"Alright alright, just go!" The lady replied in an exasperated voice.

"Tch, girl needs to mind her own business. Back to the matter at hand, when she wakes up we're going to get all of our answers. If she has any relation to the military whatsoever I will make sure to give her what she deserves, understood?" The man continued from before.

"All she deserves right now is some much needed rest. I'd prefer you leave now and cause a ruckus elsewhere."

"Fine, I'll leave, but your level of disobedience lately is not something that will go unpunished either. I have better things to do than suffer the consequences of your righteous actions. Please notify me when she wakes up and is able to talk properly." With that she heard the whooshing of the tent door opening and closing once more.

It was then the lady noticed her eyelids twitching, slowly adjust to the brightness of the sun shining through the top of the tent she laid in.

"Miss, you're awake! Can you hear me? Can you answer me?"

"Yes." She was able to croak out.

"Oh goodness, listen you're going to make it. My name is Sabrina; I'm here to help you. Just don't try and move, you suffered some quite serious head trauma and twisted you're wrist. You also have a bunch of bruises all over your body. Did you fall off the cliff?"

The moisture was slowly returning to the inside of her mouth and her words began to come out clearer. "I'm not sure." She replied.

"That's okay! Do you know what you're doing out here on the outskirts of the desert? You seem to be wearing only your pyjamas. Were you lost?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure."

Sabrina's expression had shifted from excitement to solemnity. "I understand. One more question, what's your name?"

"... I don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Roy awoke to the bright lights and the familiar clean scent of a hospital room. He shut his eyes tight and opened them again to make sure he was fully awake and the past day had not been a part of some intricate nightmare designed to scar him for life.

No, everything was all too real.

"Guys, he's awake!" He was surprised to hear Fuery's voice, it seemed as though he had been waiting there for him to wake up since he got there.

"Colonel, are you okay? The doctor said you passed out due to shock." Fuery asked.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." His voice sounded much weaker than he intended. He wasn't supposed to let his vulnerability show, but he was lying helpless in a hospital bed. This was as close as he's been to rock bottom in a very long time.

"Boss!" Havoc and Breda filed into the room.

He directed his gaze at Havoc and gave him a calm yet eerie smile.

"It's morning now, isn't it?" Roy asked.

"Yes sir." Havoc replied, visibly unnerved by the look on his face.

"She hasn't been found yet, has she?"

"No sir, the search parties will be returning to base soon." Havoc replied as coolly as he could.

Roy shut his eyes tight and opened them once more. He was still in his hospital room, Hawkeye was still missing, and they are not going to continue the search.

"Actually sir, we do have some good news." Breda offered.

If she hadn't been found yet he hardly believed there could be anything positive about this situation but he motioned for him to continue.

"The good news is actually the fact that she hasn't been found. The search parties scoured the bottom of that cliff and the area around it for hours, there was no sign of Hawkeye, dead or alive."

Roy pondered this for a moment. He was positive that she fell off the cliff to her death, but if her body was nowhere in the area then could it be possible that she somehow lived and managed to escape?

"Sir, you realize that this means there is a very good chance that she's alive, I mean it's not like someone can die and leave no trace of their body behind." Havoc added.

Roy cringed slightly, _he knew of a way,_ he thought, but decided not to say anything in response regarding that. "Okay, let's say she is alive and managed to escape, why wouldn't she come back here immediately? If she could walk far enough that they can't find her she surely could've made it back to base."

"I wish I knew the answer to that one sir, but your guess is as good as mine. I've been asking around and nobody has any kind of information. The nearby towns have been checked as well and nobody has seen anything. "Breda delivered the unfortunate news with sadness in his voice.

Roy knew he wasn't the only one hurting not having Hawkeye around; all of his subordinates were visibly shaken by the whole situation. They weren't lying in a hospital bed right now but he knew they were trying to stay strong and not give up hope, not only for Hawkeye but for him as well. He knew he was a burden when he became caught up in his emotions; Hawkeye was the only one alive who could deal with him at time like this. She was there to bring his mind back down to Earth if he wandered to deep into the maze of regret and self-loathing. Now that she was gone he couldn't keep his emotions in check, thus why he was lying in this hospital bed in the first place.

"Umm sir, s-sorry to interrupt but do you happen to have spare keys to Hawkeye's quarters?" Fuery meekly said.

"I don't, but I should be able to get in anyways. What's the matter?" Roy questioned.

"It's just that, it's been almost a day and I'm sure Hayate hasn't been fed or walked or..."

"Oh, Hayate! I seriously didn't even think about that, I was so caught up in trying to find her that I forgot. I mean, she would probably kill me if anything happened to that dog of hers. Get me my uniform, we can go now."

"Um, sir, you actually haven't been cleared to leave yet." Havoc noted.

"Nonsense, nothing is wrong with me, besides I have to return to my post. The restoration is not going to complete itself." Roy started to get up.

"Alright sir, just answer me this. Are you sure you're one hundred percent okay to continue working?" Havoc gazed straight down into his soul as he posed the question.

Roy couldn't look him in eyes when he answered. "I'm fine, perfectly fine." He lied.

He was not fine at all.

* * *

Roy led Fuery into his quarters and through the door that connected it to Hawkeye's. He didn't care if Fuery knew about it; he was probably the last person to say anything.

Hayate was simply lying on the floor looking almost defeated but instantly leaped up when he heard movement in the dorm. His excited mood suddenly vanished when he realized it was not Hawkeye who was home.

Fuery kneeled and started scratching him behind the ear. "Hey there, are you hungry? You're going to have to deal with me for a while because Hawkeye's not here right now, alright? Let's get you something to eat."

Hayate was a smart dog; he seemed to completely understand Fuery's words, and the true meaning behind them. He let out a small whimper and slumped back onto the ground because he wouldn't be seeing his beloved master anytime soon. He even refused to eat when Fuery put down the food for him, and wouldn't move when he tried to tell him that he would have to stay with him.

"Hayate please, you need to come with me. We can't leave you here all alone." Fuery begged. He was just met with more whimpers.

Roy sympathized with the dog; Hayate was probably the only other being that truly understood what he was going through right now.

"Listen Fuery, I'll take care of him. It's alright. I'll make sure he eats and gets his walks, I've seen Hawkeye do everything a million times before."

"Are you sure? I really can take him. You have work to do, and you just got out of the hospital."

"It's okay. I don't think he's going to be moving anytime soon."

"I understand. Hayate is a smart dog so I'm sure it won't be difficult to care for him. I'm going to head back to my dorm now, please call me if anything happens."

"Understood." And with a salute Fuery was gone and he sat down on the floor next to Hayate.

Riza loved him, he knew this, but if there was any competition it was because of Hayate. At some times he was sure that she preferred the damned dog over him, but he realized it was Hayate who helped her through all the years that they couldn't be together. He and Hayate had a strictly professional relationship, if he were to describe it. He did love the dog for everything he did for Riza but he had never gone above and beyond to really get to know the little guy beyond his work as a military dog. He was extremely smart (as any dog trained by Riza Hawkeye would be) and Roy was sure that he understood human speech. When him and Riza first officially got together Hayate was almost jealous that she spent so much time with him, often getting up on the bed or constantly trying to keep Riza's attention but jumping up on her lap at inappropriate times, even though he had been trained not to and was always an obedient dog in the past. He did eventually get used to him though, when he realized how much he loved his master, and that he would never do anything to harm her in any way.

He glanced over at the broken dog beside him. "Listen Hayate, I miss her as well but you really have to eat something." He cautiously reached over to pat him; he had never bonded with the dog before this. He was just met with more whimpers of a canine obviously missing his owner.

It hurt him to see Hayate like this. He realized this must be what all his subordinates felt when they saw him lying in the hospital bed, someone who is usually overflowing with charisma completely defeated, all the energy drained out of them, hopeless. He knew that's why they all stayed strong for him, and that did help him move on, and he knew he couldn't continue to bother them any longer. He was a grown man, and he would have to learn to deal with all these emotions by himself. He realized why Riza must've loved that dog so much, he was a lot like him in the way he handled his emotions, and technically he was a dog of the military as well. Now he knew exactly what to do to help. He plastered a solemn smile on his face before turning back to talk to Hayate.

"Listen boy, you've got to stay strong. I'm sure Riza wouldn't want you starving yourself for her sake. Don't worry; I'm sure she will come back. She'd never leave you, understand?"

Hayate seemed to understand but still looked horribly depressed.

"How about this, I'll eat if you eat? We can eat together. We can walk together, and hang out until Riza comes back. I promise she will come back, you just have to trust me." Hayate seemed to understand the look in his eyes which glimmered with hope. Instead of eating Hayate nestled into Roy's chest, as a gesture to say that he understood. Less afraid, he put his arms around the dog and his fake smile turned into a genuine one.

He was glad he was able to say all those things; he knew those words were not only for Hayate but for himself as well. As long as he believed that she would come back he would be able to stay strong for those who needed him the most.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Her mind had been wiped clean, the only memories she had were of the last ten minutes. She had no idea who she was, she had no idea where she was and she had no idea how she got there. All she knew was that she was terribly injured and could barely move.

"Everybody, we're moving now! Pack your things!" A loud yell came from outside. A man marched into the tent soon after. He had a skinny face covered in old scars on one side and he looked very angry.

"What's going on?" Sabrina immediately got up and asked.

"The bloody military, they've got a whole ton of people combing the area; we need to move out before they find us!" His gaze fixed onto her. "This is probably all her fault, I told you she's connected to them! The military is after her!" The man barked.

Sabrina spoke back "Listen Josei, this woman is suffering from amnesia, she can't recall any details of her life, she can't move and we have no proof that they are after her. If we're leaving I'm taking her to continue treatment, we can't just leave her here for the military to find. Who knows what they would do to her, you know they have evil intentions and I'm not willing to sacrifice any more lives under my watch."

"Why do you care so much for this Amestrian? You do realize she is of the people that tried to exterminate us many years ago. How do we know she's even telling the truth?"

"The look on her face is enough. She is completely lost, we should do everything we can to help her," Sabrina walked over to her bedside and looked her straight in the eye, the caring nurse facade completely gone, "you are not lying to me, right? The military has no reason to be after you, right?"

"It's true, I really can't remember anything. I don't want to be taken by the military; I really don't think I have anything to do with them. Just please, let me stay with you for a bit longer, I have nowhere else to go." Riza realized that she was completely lost, as of now these people were her only acquaintances, if they left her she didn't know what she would have done. Being taken by the military sounded like the last thing she wanted to happen to her. These people were nice enough to treat her, they couldn't be bad people.

"Alright," Sabrina walked back over to the man. "We're going to have to load her onto one of the carts to get her to the new campsite."

The man looked angry as ever, "Are you serious? We need that storage space for our supplies. We don't have room to house a person in place of them; we only have three carts to carry things in the first place."

"Listen, we're going to make room. Stop wasting time and gather the rest of the people, I'll take care of this woman so you don't need to worry about her. You can pretend we left her here, alright?"

Instead of responding he stormed angrily out of the tent.

Sabrina lowered herself back down next to her bedside. "I'm sorry about that, that's Josei. He's sort of the unofficial ruler of our little encampment. He can boss around anyone here except me."

Riza thought that was a bit strange, "Is he an older relative of yours?" she asked. He didn't look old enough to be a grandfather, but perhaps an uncle or a father. It was the only reason she could think of that he couldn't tell her what to do.

"Actually, he's my husband." Sabrina paid no attention to Riza's eyes widening for a split second in shock and added "Before you ask, we married when I was 16 and he was 35, it was not my decision."

"I see. I'm..." Riza wasn't sure how to respond.

"I'm sorry, that might have been too much information. Forget I said anything. I'm going to get some of the villagers to help me load you onto the cart so we can leave, just hang in there alright." With that she breezed out of the tent.

* * *

Riza had felt quite embarrassed and helpless being lifted out of the tent and onto the cart by four strangers. Nevertheless the moment had passed and now she watched the trees go by as they ventured deeper and deeper into the lush grasslands.

"Excuse me, Miss Blonde?" A small voice squeaked at her side.

"Amerie! How did you get up here? Shouldn't you be behind with your grandmother? You're not supposed to be up here!" Sabrina said, scaring Riza slightly as she hadn't realized when she had gotten on the cart with her.

"Nana is fine by herself. You promised you would tell me when she woke up so I could talk to her!"

"She is in no condition to talk right now, please don't bother her."

"Hey! I saw you talking to her perfectly fine earlier. At least tell me her name so I can stop calling her Miss Blonde."

"Listen, this woman is suffering from something called amnesia. She can't remember any details of her past, including her name."

The girl turned to Riza and stared at her for a moment. "Is that true Miss? You can't even remember your name?"

"I can't remember anything." Riza finally spoke to the girl.

The girl looked to be no older than ten years; she had bright red eyes and white hair that stopped right below her ears. She wore a white dress and faint scars were visible on her arms and legs.

"In that case, I'll help you remember! I'll just list off a bunch of names and you tell me which one you'd like me to call you!"

"Amerie stop badgering the poor lady and let her rest." Sabrina chided.

Outright ignoring Sabrina, she just continued "Margaret, Beth, Janice, Elizabeth, Susan..."

"W-wait..." Riza felt something, a memory trying to come back. One of the names resonated within her, she still couldn't remember the connection but she was sure this had to be her name. "Elizabeth. That was my name. I'm sure of it."

"Alright, from now on you are Miss Elizabeth!" Sabrina had given up on trying to end the conversation and decided to just let her be. "Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Amerie, I live in this camp with my Nana. I was the one who found you by the cliff last night, it was really scary."

"I'm sorry I scared you." The girl seemed sweet enough. "I'm grateful that you saw me, I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

"Don't thank me; it was Sabrina who really saved you. She is such an amazing healer! She even treated my own wounds back when I was a baby; she probably saved my life as well. In fact, most of the villagers were saved by her." She held out her arms for her to get a closer look. "When I was a baby my arms and leg were caught in flames, they would've hit my entire body if my parents hadn't saved me..." The cheerful girl suddenly looked very sad. "Unfortunately, they didn't survive, my Nana was the one who was able to get me out and raise me since then."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to bring up memories like that." Riza felt awful, of course she wasn't even sure who her parents were and f they were alive or not, but she felt like she connected with the girl on some levels.

"It's alright! I was just a baby, I can hardly remember them. Plus, my Nana told me a whole bunch about them so it feels like they never left!"

A lot of people would benefit from this girl's optimism, Riza thought.

Amerie continued. "Sabrina had to deal with a lot of burns after the flames attacked us."

"What? The flames attacked you?" Riza questioned.

Sabrina finally spoke up again. "That's one way to put it. Almost ten years ago the Amestrian military had a goal to exterminate our entire race. All of those who travel with this camp are from a town on the outskirts of our old homeland. When the war started we didn't even know about the extermination until it was too late, we thought we could escape before they reached us but one day our entire town went up in flames. It seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. Many were simply burned on the spot, only about 100 of us were lucky to have not been caught in the brunt of the fire."

"That... why did they want to exterminate you in the first place?" Riza was astounded by the story. It was a true living nightmare.

"We had been at war for several years; I guess they just decided to end it once and for all when they called in the state alchemists. We never did anything wrong, we had never been involved we were completely innocent. The one who burned down out town and many others was known as the flame alchemist. Just saying those words brings my blood to a boil."

Alchemy. Alchemists. She remembered this art, in which you manipulate and alter matter using natural energy. "You're saying this alchemist could control flames? He set you're town aflame in one instant?" That was hard to believe, how could one person control something so devastatingly powerful?

"Josei is the only one who has seen him face to face so I can't tell you for sure, but we know he was responsible for many of the deaths during the extermination. Our town was not the only one that was burned to the ground by the likes of him."

"I'm really sorry about what happened to you guys. I really can't imagine how much you suffered." Riza didn't know what to feel, heartache for all the ones they lose, or anger towards the military for committing these sins.

Sabrina's anger slightly subsided. "Now you know why we absolutely hate the Amestrian military. Recently they have come back trying to rebuild what they destroyed, but we're not going to fall for that trick. We know their true intentions and we will never allow them to march back into our homeland and try to tell us to forgive them for everything they did. Nothing is going to be enough to ever forgive them. They are all monsters."

Riza couldn't agree more. With everything she had heard she was certain on where she stood. The military could not be trusted.

They were all monsters.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Today marked exactly one month since Riza Hawkeye went missing.

At first things had almost took a positive turn when they realized that she was not confirmed dead, still MIA. Her body had never been recovered, so the likelihood of her survival was quite high. However, the days passed by and there was not a trace of Riza Hawkeye. No more clues were found of her whereabouts. The search efforts died down, as most were convinced that if she were alive she would have come back by now. Roy knew that it was impossible that she would still be alive and well and would have not come back to headquarters. To even think that Hawkeye would not return was crazy; she would follow him into hell. Unfortunately, this made him think of the worst possibility; she couldn't come back because she was really gone.

Things had been moving rather solemnly in the office of Mustang, recovery efforts sauntered along at a decent pace but everyone could tell that his heart was not in it. He gave out orders, he carried out all of his tasks but there was no longer that passion that commanded his every move. The restoration efforts had been something that he had been so motivated about before, but now it seemed like nothing mattered. His men have not said anything outright but he knew that he had been a miserable person to be around for the past month. Every morning he would try to be optimistic but when the bad news kept crashing down on him over and over it was hard to keep the spirits up.

It was almost funny how he did all of his paperwork like clockwork now that Riza was out of the office, perhaps he just liked to procrastinate to get a reaction out of her. At least the paperwork kept his mind busy so that it wouldn't wander to images of her face, her hair, her touch, her legs, her smile, her everything. He couldn't even imagine the day when they officially declared her dead due to prolonged absence; he would have sit through her _funeral._ Just the words in his mind made him sick. He always imagined that he would be the one to leave her first, not any time soon but he was sure that she would be the one to outlive him. He believed this so much that he never imagined living a life without her. He had made the same mistake with Hughes, his death still left quite a scar on his soul but he at least had Hawkeye to help pick him back up. Now that she was gone he felt so alone, his subordinates and the rest of the people in his life could compare to significance those two individuals held.

He still kept her ring in his jacket right next to his heart. He tried to make himself believe that as long as he held onto it there was still hope that she would return to him. He didn't care if everyone else had lost hope, he had always been a fool who thought he could change the country, a fool who put too much faith in others, and a fool that couldn't accept his feelings for Riza until it was too late.

* * *

That night, he had a dream. He couldn't even remember that last time he had a dream; since he was young his nights were filled with nightmares and he had grown accustomed to such terrors that this fantasy took him by surprise.

He and Riza were older but he recognized that they were still in the village that she had grown up in. She sat on the porch of a house which strongly resembled her father's except it had a completely different vibe. The lawn was well kept instead of overgrown with weeds, the house itself was in perfect condition, it looked like it had a fresh coat of paint and it was completely full of life. The garden was full of all sorts of flowers that lined a walkway to the front door. He started down the path to reach her; she was reading a book and smiled as she saw him approach. She took his hand and motioned for him to sit beside her. Her head fell onto his shoulder and she sighed in peace. It was the life she had always dreamed of, a life without the military. Her wedding ring glistened in the sun as he took notice of his own ring. He never imagined a life like this, he was filled with utter joy, a feeling that he had never experienced before. It felt as if the world had been lifted off his shoulders, without the military he hadn't a care in the world except for taking care of his beautiful wife. He had no dreams to accomplish, in this life all he had ever wanted was already true.

He heard the scampering of small feet coming towards him as he looked down and was met with the face of a young child. He looked almost exactly like a mini version of himself, dark hair, ivory skin, and jet black eyes. He smiled before holding out a handful of flowers to him.

"Dad, I picked these flowers for mom."

"They're beautiful, I'm sure she'd love them." Roy replied.

"Do you really think so dad?"

"Of course, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I can't."

He was going to ask why but he realized while he was talking he hadn't noticed the warmth suddenly gone from his shoulder. His lady was no longer there, or anywhere. The house looked ragged and worn, worse than its original state he remembered from the past. The lawn was nonexistent, the flowers had vanished, and all that was left was dirt. In front of the house lay one attraction, a gravestone. The words engraved in it made his stomach drop and his chest churn.

_In memory of_

**_Riza Mustang_ **

_I have lost my soul's companion_  
A life linked with my own  
And day by day I miss her more  
As I walk through life alone.

He awoke abruptly and had to catch his breath he was so riled up. He had been so silly, to think that he would actually have a gratifying dream. The only dreams he had existed in the real world, after hours he was only visited by demons.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

It felt nice to be moving again.

After a month of being practically bed-ridden she was officially okay to move about freely. Other than the apparent memory loss, her condition had miraculously healed quite a bit in such a short period of time. Riza felt much better not being taken care of like she was an infant. She was lucky that she was mobile enough that she insisted to change her clothes and wipe her body down herself; the thought of others doing such intimate things mortified her.

Many villagers heard of the Amestrian amnesiac and had made their rounds to take a gander at her. She was expecting them to be a lot more hostile, after how she was treated by that one man, but for the most part they sympathized with her condition and wished her well in her recovery efforts. They couldn't criticize her background as she couldn't remember anything, so their opinions based solely on her image as a patient in that moment they had no reason to hold any sort of grudges, she assumed. The people here were all quite peaceful, they had no desire for violence and she would say they were the most pleasant people she had ever met, if she had anyone to compare them to.

The encampment ran very simply, everyone had some sort of lodgings, mainly large tents as she learned that they often relocated due to weather or approaching threats. Sabrina had told her that they tried to keep the real world out because it was a violent place that only looks down upon her people. It was hard to believe that anyone would want to harm such a peaceful group of people, all these measures she decided would not have been taken if there not a good reason for doing so.

She was only really close with Sabrina, as she had been the one taking care of her for the most part, and of course the little girl named Amerie who seemed to be rather attached to her since she arrived. She thought it was kind of cute, so she didn't mind. Sabrina's husband and ruler of the camp Josei she hadn't seen much since they found the new grounds, she decided he wasn't very fond of her and she wasn't his biggest fan either. The last person she had met was Amerie's grandmother, affectionately referred to as 'Nana', her real name was Cora and she was simply a quiet elderly woman who was often overwhelmed by her granddaughter's enthusiasm.

"Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth?" The little girl poked her head into her tent.

"Hey, there, what are you up to?" She smiled, this girl was trouble sometimes but she was still a sweetheart.

"Nana told me to bring you this, since you can move around now. She said you need to get out of those sick clothes and into some normal ones so that you're presentable." She held out a long dress to her, similar to the ones most of the ladies wore around camp.

"It's beautiful. She made it didn't she?"

"Yes, she said it would fit you."

"Thank you, tell Cora thank you as well. I'll put it on later."

"No, put it on now! I want to see!" she pleaded.

"I hope you're not badgering poor Elizabeth again Amerie." Sabrina said as she waltzed into the tent carrying a basket of supplies.

"No, Nana made a dress for her and I told her to change out of her sick clothes and put it on, I bet she would look nice in a dress."

"Hmm, I guess you should try it on before the little one blows a fuse then." Sabrina conceded.

Riza took the dress and stared at them, they had been treating her for the past month but for some reason she felt the shyness well up inside of her at the thought of changing in front of them. "Um, right here?" She asked.

"What's the matter, we're all females here no need to be shy." Sabrina replied.

She was right of course, she was being childish. She turned her back to them and started to slide her old clothes off.

"What's that on your back?" Amerie suddenly asked.

Her top hit the ground and she stood in her bra and pants. "What's what?"

"It's a tattoo," Sabrina's voice had an edge to it. "It looks like an alchemic array."

What were they talking about, a tattoo? She didn't think she would have ever gotten a tattoo; she had no desire for one. And also, an alchemic tattoo, had she been an alchemist? It didn't make any sense. "Are you sure it's a tattoo?"

"Can you tell me that you honestly that you don't know the origin of this marking?" Sabrina asked firmly.

"I really have no idea." She was trying to glance over at her back but she could barely see anything from her angle. Sabrina asked Amerie to fetch a reflective surface so that she could have a look. If she didn't believe them before she believed them now. An intricate pattern was carved over her back in red but she didn't know what any of the markings meant, and all the words seemed to be in a foreign language.

"Listen, you mustn't show or speak of this to anyone. These teachings oppose Ishvala; you would become an enemy if anyone found out about your connections to this." Sabrina said.

"Do you know what it means?"

"I do not have much knowledge of these types of things, my husband knows more things but I don't recommend you show him. I would suggest you keep this to yourself and not think too much of it if you can't remember."

"Most of it seems to be illegible anyways; it's covered by a huge scar." She noted. "Where could I have gotten something like that?"

"I know these scars Elizabeth, these are burn marks."

"Burn marks? Are you saying that I got burned? "

"I've seen these types of scars too many times not to be sure. Many of the villagers have similar ones."

"I don't understand, does this mean that I was attacked by the flames as well?"

"I don't know what happened, but these scars happened for a reason. I would say that you ending up here has been no mistake, God has brought you here because you are one of us. These markings tell your fate." Sabrina said thoughtfully.

"That I was destined to arrive here?"

"That you belong here."

* * *

Riza decided that in her former life she was not much of a dress person. The fabric draped over her body felt wrong in so many ways; even though Amerie did say she pulled the look off quite well. She hadn't seen a single female wearing pants as of yet, so she decided that if she wanted to fit in she would have to get used to the attire.

Speaking of the little girl, she was currently dragging her towards her tent so that her grandmother could see how well the clothes fit. After the discussion of her tattoo Amerie promised not to say a word to anyone and promptly went at her to continue putting on the dress.

They arrived and she was met with Cora once more and the elderly woman looked over her figure with her heavily lidded eyes. "I see the dress fit perfectly, I didn't misjudge your figure; you're much more slender than you would think at first glance."

"Thank you very much for the dress, it's wonderful."

"Now that I know your size I'll make a couple more. A lady can't only have one dress to wear around."

"Thank you for your generosity, I hope it won't be too much trouble. Perhaps I can help?"

"Nonsense, I'm rather proficient on my own. Consider it a welcome gift to our village. You do plan on staying, don't you?"

"Of course, I have nowhere else to go; it would be foolish to leave the comfort of this village. I've grown attached to you guys as well; I hope you guys don't think I'm a burden."

"You are too modest. In a small village like this we are always ready to expand." She took another once over and turned to Amerie.

"Do you sense her aura Amerie, isn't she _glowing_?"

"Nana yes, she's radiant, stunning, glowing!" Amerie happily replied.

Riza blushed; she wasn't sure what these people saw in her. She thought she was rather plain, it must've been her exotic looks compared to the others that made her stand out.

"No my dear, she does look exquisite but she is _glowing_. I can sense it." Cora nudged the little girl.

" _Glowing_? No Nana, she can't be! Don't be-"She realized she must've replied too loudly and turned around as Riza stared at her. "Ignore Nana; she's old and crazy sometimes."

"Hmph, don't think so lowly of me child. Anyways Miss Elizabeth, would you like something to eat?"

Riza almost yelled out in approval, since she had been recovering all she had eaten was some sort of tasteless broth that was supposedly full of nutrients and was going help her recuperate. She was sure if she ever saw that stuff again she would not hesitate to fling it onto the streets she was so sick of it. She craved solid food with her entire being. "If you don't mind, I would love something."

"We haven't had time to do much harvesting since we got here but we have a bunch of stores of food from before the move." She rustled into the back of her tent and came back with a basket in hand. "See, these are potatoes! We can't grow many things in the Ishvalan regions but these seem to be the most common, we have a whole bunch of them!"

"Oh my, thank you so much!" She immediately grabbed a potato off the top and started to much away at in contently. _This is so good,_ she thought. Solid food must've been God's gift to Earth, and potatoes were the finest delicacy of all.

"Umm, Miss Elizabeth?" Amerie squeaked.

_Absolutely divine, the texture, the moistness, the flavour, the-_

"Miss Elizabeth!"

"Huh?" Riza suddenly disrupted from her reverie of devouring the potato.

"We, um, usually cook those before we eat them."

"Oh, right, sorry. Guess I was hungrier than I thought."

"No, I mean, if you like them raw that should be fine. We can ask Sabrina if they're okay to eat like that."

Riza felt stupid now, had her appetite really been that bad that she leaped at the raw potatoes? She discreetly grabbed another before she saw Cora give her granddaughter an amused look and leave the tent to start a fire for cooking.

* * *

The next morning she decided that maybe those raw potatoes were a bad idea.

She found herself running to the hole in the ground that they considered a toilet and spilling all of the contents of her stomach from the night before. She felt dizzy when she tried to stand up again and her body was telling her she needed to throw up again but she was sure her stomach was already completely empty so she just gagged a couple of times. She needed to see Sabrina now, something was wrong.

After wobbling towards Sabrina's tent, she wasn't sure how to knock on a tent so she tried to peer in but ended up losing her balance and side stepping right in. Her head shot back up and she starting seeing black spots in her vision and she felt so light headed the world started spinning.

She wasn't sure what happened next but she found herself back in her bed about ten minutes later, Sabrina and Cora by her bedside. She must've blacked out, right on the floor of her tent, _ugh._ What did they put in those potatoes?

Sabrina noticed that she had stirred and motioned for her to keep lying down. "Are you feeling any better, I was shocked when I saw you passed out in my own home."

"Potatoes, I ate raw potatoes yesterday." Riza croaked.

"That's okay; those potatoes aren't dangerous to be eaten raw. They can't do any harm."

That's strange, had she picked up some sort of horrendous bug? Feeling like this was not normal. "Is it from my prior injuries? Do I have a bug?"

"It's definitely not from any earlier injuries; those have all healed rather well. While you were passed out I examined you a little and took note of your symptoms. Cora also seems to know what the problem is."

"Don't worry, you are not sick." Cora reaffirmed.

Not sick, how could she say I was not sick? She felt slightly better but she was afraid if she tried to sit up the world would spiral out of control again. "Are, you sure? Then what's the issue?"

Sabrina looked visibly uncomfortable all of a sudden. Her face couldn't decide whether to smile or to stay emotionless. She placed a hand on Riza's and finally ground herself and looked her in the eye.

"You're pregnant."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Two months after Riza disappeared they refused to keep anyone out there looking for her, and Roy was furious.

"What do you mean the search has been called off completely?" Roy asked Fuery after he had delivered the news.

Fuery quivered slightly and swallowed down a lump in his throat before answering, "Without any leads sir, there is no point in continuing on with the search, is what they told me. All areas have been searched twice now and there is nothing pointing to a possible lead on her location."

"Well, they're obviously not trying hard enough. What if someone kidnapped her, or she is badly injured, or... I told you to tell them that they have orders from General Mustang to continue the search."

"They said unless you have some sort of plan of action yourself they're not going to be wasting time looking for someone who doesn't want to be f-found." The look is Roy's eyes made him regret saying that, even though it was truthfully what he had been told.

"Did you tell them it was an order?This is completely outrageous! They can't do this!"

Fuery simply stared at him wide eyed before bowing his head in shame.

"Hey, it's not his fault, don't yell at Fuery." Breda piped up from desk to the side.

" _How dare they say she doesn't want to be found?_ Those bastards! I might have to go down there and speak with them myself." Hawkeye would never willingly abandon her team; they knew nothing about the bonds they shared.

"Listen boss, they have a point. They would be more useful here than out there searching aimlessly." Breda tried to calm Mustang down.

"They're giving up! And you're siding with them as well, have you given up as well?"

"I never said that. I'm just saying we need to focus on our work on the restoration first, that's what Hawkeye would've wanted."

"Are you trying to tell me you're an expert? You know exactly what she thinks on a daily basis?"

"You're letting your emotions get ahead of you, just calm down. We're all worried, but we're trying to stay calm because we know she's still out there. We're all hurting not having her around, it's not just you."

"I know that, but you're ready to abandon the search?"

"There are no leads, we could search the whole country and there'd still be a chance she's not even here anymore."

"No! We're not going to find her if we're not looking! Damn it! "

"Sir, you need to stop."

Roy slammed his fist on his desk and stood up before giving Fuery and Breda a deathly glare. "Get out."

Breda was immediately confused, "General what do you—"

"I said _get out_. That's an order."

Fuery decided it was in his best interest to leave immediately but Breda wanted to stay out of spite until he caught a glimpse of the anguish on Roy's face in that moment and decided to give him some space.

Roy leaned his head against his hands and groaned aloud. He immediately regretted saying what he had. He was just so tense he couldn't handle it anymore; part of him wanted to do was crawl under his desk and pretend that Riza was safe in his arms and the other wanted to scream and burn his entire office down to the ground. His dreams that were once crystal clear in his mind were now foggy and distant. He questioned himself on a daily basis, why he had worked so hard to get to this point in the first place. He had always thought his dreams for this country were his first priority but now it was the last thing on his mind.

He put his head down on the desk and closed his eyes, it was happening again. The feelings were swallowing him whole; he sunk into oblivion once more.

* * *

The first thing he thought when he opened his eyes again was _damn._ The IV was stuck into his arm and he was staring up into the infirmary ceilings once more.

"So, you finally woke up."

Roy hadn't noticed Havoc sitting in the room with him.

"How long have you been here Havoc?"

"Four hours, that's when we brought you in after we found you passed out at your desk." His voice was calm but there was something there that indicated he wasn't in a good mood.

"Oh, I'm sorry; you really didn't have to stay." Roy tried to avert his eyes from Havoc's but he could still feel his glare burning holes in the side of his neck.

"You're sorry? That's all you have to say? This is the second time you've been here since the whole Hawkeye situation."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm not upset over my... adjutant's disappearance?"

"Cut the crap boss, we all know she means much more to you then you would like anyone to know but it's Hawkeye that's missing, it shouldn't feel like we're missing two people."

Roy finally got the nerve to look back up at Havoc face. "You have no idea how I feel."

"I'm not trying to say that I do, not in the least. What I'm trying to ask is are you feeling anything at all? These past two months the man that has been ordering me around has not been General Mustang, that's for sure. The Mustang I knew was almost overly passionate about his dream for this country, everyone could see the fire in his eyes with every move he made and he continued on even when it seemed like everything was lost. That's not the man who's sitting before me right now."

Roy mused over his words carefully, the truth really stung. Even now he was trying to come up with a response that would counteract his statement but all he could do was agree. "I haven't forgotten about my dream, if that's what you're implying. It just doesn't feel as important anymore."

Havoc bowed his head slightly and his breath caught. "Have you given up? You can't give up just because Hawkeye is gone. She always said she wanted a future where everyone could live in happiness, and that's what you were trying to accomplish as well right?"

"I had always pictured it in my mind, me standing at the top of this country and Riza right there by my side. Imagining myself succeeding without her is just surreal. I hadn't consciously realized it but she had always been a part of my dream as well. She believed in equivalent exchange, we gave up our ideal life to benefit others. In reality I wanted her to be happy as well, but now that I can never accomplish that my dream just feels so hollow. I'm not saying in the least that I don't care about the future of Amestris anymore it's just..."

"Hawkeye is more important." Havoc finished.

Roy ducked his head down instead of responding properly.

"Permission to speak freely sir?"

Roy nodded once, head still bowed.

"You're pathetic."

This made Roy's head shoot back up and once again his eyes met Havoc's.

"If you're going to crumble after everything _we_ have been through, not just you but everything that all of us on your team has sacrificed for you because we believed so strongly in your dreams then you have no right to be quitting when we're this close."

"What are—"

"Please sir just shut up for a moment. Breda was always vying for you, on the promised day he made sure the entire population was on your side through what he said through the radio. If it weren't for him the people would still think that we were the bad guys. Fuery was sent to the warfront in Aerugo, the poor kid was surrounded by death at all times but he managed to fight through and make it out alive because he knew he had a role to play in the Promised day and that you needed him to be there. Falman was ready to die on the Promised day rather than give up his loyalty to you after he was threatened by King Bradley and had no chance of surviving if he had attacked."

Havoc reached out and grabbed Mustang by the shirt pulling his face as close to him as he could. "You were the one who told me to meet you at the top. I was sitting in a hospital bed just like you are now and my legs were gone, I thought I had no chance. It's because of you I'm here today. Look! I'm walking on my own two legs again, I revoked my retirement from the military, I'm ready to continue you to follow you to the top but suddenly you're ready to give all of that up? I was sure I was never going to be able to walk again and still you never gave up on me, and that's why no matter what happens I'm not giving up on you."

Havoc was breathing so heavily he had to take a moment to catch his breath and lower Mustang back down onto his bed.

Roy was beside himself with grief, he was being so selfish over Riza he hadn't realized that he had lost sight of his goal completely. "I'm so sorry, tell everyone I'm sorry." He spoke in a tone lower than a whisper. Mustang hoped Havoc would ignore the crack in his voice.

"I remember I told Hawkeye that you were a fool for not giving up on a disabled man like me. She told me that this country needs a fool like you. I think I finally realize what she meant by that."

Roy sighed, still shaken from Havoc's words but the importance of them had hit him like a canon. "Do you think she's still out there?

"Sir, as long as you haven't given up on her I'm not giving up on her anytime soon."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Riza placed a hand over her stomach and breathed in deeply. So many thoughts had been running through her mind since she made the discovery two months earlier.

_"I'm... pregnant?"_

_"We're certain that you are." Sabrina said earnestly._

_"But, how is that possible? I never, I mean..."_

_"You have no memories of your life before you got here, right? The timeline makes it entirely possible that it happened before you lost your memory."_

_This revelation leads to so many more questions circulating in her mind about the facets of her previous life. Had she been in a relationship? Had she been married? Those were the most obvious reasons, but there were a few darker possibilities as well. She was found practically abandoned by a cliff side, had she been kidnapped and raped? She shuddered at that thought. No. This can't be happening._

_"Elizabeth, please talk to me. I know this is coming as a bit of a shock considering your predicament but I assure you everything is going to be okay."_

_Riza had almost decided to stop pursuing her life before she had lost her memory. She had always been curious, but the need to know wasn't devouring her entire being at any given moment anymore. She lived amongst people who cared about her and treated her with respect and graciousness, perhaps her old life was no longer relevant. This new development however, made her yearn for the truth once more._

_"I'm... so sorry. I've caused you guys so much trouble already, and I finally thought I could just become a somewhat normal part of this society and..."_

_"Relax, it's not like nobody has gotten pregnant here before. It's not your fault, you had no idea."_

_Riza was at a loss for what to say, what could she say? Now what? She was pregnant with a child, she had no idea who the father was, and there was no way of figuring out how she got pregnant in the first place._

_Sabrina put a hand on her shoulder which caused her to tilt her head up and meet her gaze. "I know you must be having some conflicting emotions right now and you were in no way prepared for this pregnancy, and I'm not even sure if you want to go through with it, I just wanted to make sure you know you have... options."_

_She didn't have to say more for her to understand. They were ways, nothing guaranteed, that she could get rid of her pregnancy. All were hazardous to her health but many women took a chance anyways. None of these options appealed to her, whether she had agreed to it or not she was pregnant with a child that was partially hers and she couldn't bring herself to simply throw away a piece of herself._

_"I... I can't."_

_"Elizabeth, are you sure about this?" Sabrina warned gently._

_Riza stood her ground, her decision completely cemented in her mind. "I'm keeping it."_

Although she was now three months into her pregnancy her stomach still looked as flat as before. She felt bloated and uncomfortable and was convinced that her clothes were getting tighter, but Sabrina had told her that it was all in her head.

Sometimes she regretted her decision. She was bringing a new life into the world while she wasn't even clear of the details of her own, but she always convinced herself again that she was doing the right thing, no matter how it happened it was her body and she could do whatever she wanted with it and it was her decision to keep the pregnancy.

She wished it would just be over with already though, the symptoms she experienced such as constant bouts of sickness at inconvenient times, eating a lifetime's worth of potatoes in the span of a couple of months, and just being so fatigued all the time was slowly driving her insane.

For the past two weeks she has been trying to get along as independently as she could. Cora had fallen ill and was bedridden, Sabrina checked on her often and Amerie had not left her side for more than a couple of minutes. She had overheard Sabrina saying how they did not have proper medicine to treat her in the encampment and it was impossible to make a trip out to the main towns at this time. The population was not huge but with only one certified doctor in the village an extended trip that would leave them helpless for at least three days was out of the question. Cora also needed daily monitoring to help control her current state of unrest. Nobody else in the village was comfortable with leaving the safety of their camp and they had little knowledge of the lands outside Ishval. Her heart ached every time she saw Cora's face, her light gradually dimming with each consecutive day.

She had to do something.

She sought out Sabrina and confronted her.

"I'll go." She said adamantly.

"Elizabeth, you are in no condition to be travelling."

"Just tell me where to go, Cora needs this medicine."

"The trip involves a carriage back to Ishval as well as a long train ride into Central, and it would just be too taxing on your body. "

"I'm not as fragile as you think I am. Someone has to go."

"You don't know how to get around the city or the train stations."

"I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out, besides I know I'm not from here, perhaps I have navigated in these areas before I lost my memories..." She hadn't thought if it until that moment, but maybe a trip out of the camp would help her remember something of her past, perhaps someone would recognize her, it was a possibility.

"Ishval is under military watch, if you want to get out you will have to go through them, and we still don't know if you're wanted by them, I dare not leave an innocent woman to deal with them alone."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take! Somebody needs to help her."

"No Elizabeth, we cannot interfere with the military, they made us suffer for so many years and they have nothing but hateful views towards our people. We can't leave easily anymore."

"It's perfect then, because technically I'm not like the rest of you." It was the truth, even though she was now integrated into their society her blonde locks and brown eyes made her stick out like a sore thumb. Most of the villagers were aware of her situation and paid no mind to it anymore.

"They're going to ask you what you're doing on Ishvalan ground."

"I'll come up with something, please just let me help."

"There's nothing I can say to defer you, is there?"

"No."

"Very well then, I still think it's a bad idea but if you're set on going I can't hold you back-" Her words were cut short as a frantic Amerie came sprinting towards them,

"Help, HELP! It's Nana! She's not responding!"

Sabrina sprang into action, following the girl back to her tent and Riza followed behind.

Cora was laying still, her breath barely a whisper, her eyelids struggling to stay up. She hadn't realized how old she was until now, she always was so full of energy and her silver hair she shared with the rest of her race didn't give anything away. The wrinkles covering her entire being stood out much more, she seemed skinnier and frailer, as if her body had finally surrendered to her true age. She was the embodiment of a young soul, and the little girl sobbing at her bedside was the reason she was always so strong. Cora had been suffering long before she had even showed up at the camp, Sabrina had told her, but she knew she had to stay strong for the only family she had left. With her condition getting worse there was no longer any means within the village that could help her. She was too late.

"No...This is too soon..." Sabrina muttered, barely audible.

Her eyelids soon gave up a losing battle and drifted shut. Her breaths became softer and softer.

"Nana! NANA! Wake up!" Amerie pleaded, she was now sobbing hysterically.

Her breaths came to a halt, leaving her lying motionless in her bed. Her light had finally gone out.

"NO!" Amerie hung onto her grandmother and sobbed into her chest. Sabrina shot her a solemn look and decided to leave, she was no longer needed.

Riza was now left to observe the crying child and she felt her own tears trying to escape from her eyes. She put a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. She didn't know what to say that would be appropriate for the moment but Amerie finally glanced up at her and flung her arms around Riza instead, burying her face into the crook of her neck and continuing to bawl. She wrapped her arms around the child and carried her out of the tent.

* * *

It had been just about a day since Cora's passing. Riza had carried Amerie back to her tent and she had just reclined in her arms and cried for the rest of the day until she eventually tired herself out and fell asleep. Riza hadn't gotten much sleep that night, she just felt like she could relate to the girl in the pains of losing someone close to you at a young age. Every time she thought of what she must being going through it sent a surge of pain radiating through her chest.

She finally saw the girl attempt to open her eyes, still encrusted with the tears of the prior day.

"Good morning." Riza conjured up the best smile she could as she greeted her.

"Miss Elizabeth, what are you doing here?" Amerie sat up and rubbed at her eyes trying to get all the goop out of them.

"This is actually my living space." She instinctively reached out to smooth down the girl's hair.

"Huh... oh! Sorry for intruding... how did I..." She could tell from the way her expression shifted that she was recalling all the events that happened the day before.

"You fell asleep here, it's alright."

"I should leave now. Thank you for letting me sleep here Miss Elizabeth." She stood up and tried to walk towards the exit.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"I'm afraid you can't go back there yet, your grandmother... is still there." She had been trying not to bring it up but she couldn't let the girl go find out herself.

Amerie's head dropped and she stared into the ground, obviously at a loss for what to do next.

"Come here." She motioned for the girl to take a seat beside her on the bed.

She dragged her feet across the floor and plopped herself down beside Riza. Her arms crossed and she could tell that the girl was avoiding looking up at her for a reason.

"Amerie look at me." Riza gently used two fingers to tilt her chin up to face her, as she suspected her eyes were starting to run water.

She knew she had to be the strong one and try to handle the situation the best she could. "I know this is hard Amerie but you have to stay strong."

"B-but Nana was the only f-family I had left; now I'm all alone!"

She wiped each tear from her face as they fell. "That's not true; even though we're not blood everyone here loves you. I came here with no memories and no family, I was truly all alone, but everyone here has taken me in as if we were related. Everyone has been so kind to let me live normally, so I can always believe that I'm not alone. It's because of you that I'm here; I would probably still be lying at the side of a cliff if it weren't for you. If you ever think that you're alone please remember that you're the reason I'm not alone, and I promise I won't leave you for as long as I'm here." She cursed herself for letting her voice crack in the last sentence.

"Miss Elizabeth, I'm sorry," Amerie tried to stop crying but it was short lived as her body shook with full blown sobs once more, "I can't stop crying."

"It's okay sweetheart, please don't force yourself. Just let it all out, don't hold back. "She took the girl in her arms and held her tightly against her chest. "We both don't have anyone left to take care of us, so from now we're going to depend on each other."

"D-does that mean I can stay here, I won't be a bother?" Her voice was muffled but she could still make out the words.

"You will stay here; I won't let you be alone." The rush of emotions she was feeling was something very foreign. She cared so much for this little girl she had no relation to and she never wanted her to think that nobody cared for her anymore. She never wanted her to be lonely ever again. "I'll never leave you."

"Is t-that a promise?"

Riza thought briefly about how there was no way she could ever guarantee that she will be there forever, but she knew that she needed to be hopeful. As long as she would live she couldn't see herself leaving this girl, and she couldn't think of any circumstance that would change her mind. She smiled to herself before replying.

"It's a promise."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

The monotonous happenings of Ishval head office were starting to wear down on Roy's mind. He occasionally left the building but most of his day was spent doing paperwork, in which he had to approve various projects and read the concerns of the people. He did every piece dutifully and without complaint. Four months without Riza Hawkeye and his work ethic had not returned to normal, it had improved dramatically. Since she wasn't there to push him forward he found that he was motivating himself. He hadn't realized how much he depended on people, he was a leader but at heart he needed people around him to keep him sane. In a way this was almost good for him, now that he had to look out for his own feelings.

That didn't mean he was completely self-dependant.

Fortunately, before his mind had time to wander, his phone rang.

"Hello, General Mustang speaking."

"Just a hello would be fine my boy." The voice cheerfully spoke from the other side.

"Fuhrer Grumman sir! What do I owe the honour of your call today?"

"Well I was hoping I would get a call from you before I had to call myself but I guess there has been no news on my granddaughter's whereabouts recently."

Roy stared at the ground solemnly. He was the one who had to notify the Fuhrer about Riza's disappearance but he wasn't able to gauge his immediate reaction accurately due to the fact that he delivered the news via phone. He could only assume that his reaction had been somewhat similar to his own. "Sorry sir, I have nothing to report on those grounds."

"It's alright; I know you're doing the best you can under the circumstances. That's not the reason I'm calling today though."

"Has something happened sir?"

"It's nothing that you should be too bothered about, just an old man's medical problems."

Roy clenched the receiver a little tighter, Grumman spoke in the same chipper tone he usually had but he knew that he was just trying to cover up the urgency of his problems, as usual. "Your health sir? I don't think that's something I shouldn't be concerned about." He tried to sway the conversation into a more serious tone.

"It's just after a recent trip to the doctor's I've been diagnosed with a... sickness. It's nothing serious, but there is a downside."

"A downside?"

"There is no cure. The only thing they can do is try to slow down the spread of the disease, but it is unlikely that it will ever go away."

"If there is no cure though... doesn't that mean that eventually..." Roy knew that there wasn't any good news coming.

Grumman finally lowered his voice and adapted a more serious mood. "It really depends on how effective the treatment is and on how resilient the disease is, but if you want a number, they said I probably have, at most, five years left to live."

Roy felt his heart instantly drop as he said those words. " _Five years?_ That's not serious to you?"

"Roy I'm an old man. I've lived my life, being in the military I should be grateful I made it this far."

"You're not that old yet! Please sir, there has to be something that can be done..."

"I've already told you that everything that can be done is being done, other than that there is nothing else we can do. I'll accept my faith gracefully."

"Sir, what about the military? You can't just abandon your position."

"That's the second thing I wanted to discuss. I'm not sure how drastically my condition will be changing over the years, but I've already scheduled my retirement for one year from now. I'm in no shape to run the country for any longer."

"You practically just got that position, it's unfortunate you have to give it up so soon."

"Nonsense my boy! I only got appointed because I was the highest ranking general that was not corrupted by those who were involved in the Promised Day. I have no dreams to change this country, but I do know someone who does."

"Sir... are you..."

"Tell me general, how are things going in regards to the Ishval restoration?"

 _He couldn't be offering what I think he is, could he?_  "It's going by rather smoothly. Many structures have gone up or are being built and it's starting to look like a real town once more. The only hitch so far is that not all of the Ishvalans are ready to trust the military yet, therefore not all of them have returned to the newly rebuilt district."

"Do you think you would be able to wrap up all main operations there in a year and return to central?"

"If we put a focus on rounding up all the misplaced Ishvalans for the remainder of the year, then it's possible yes, but sir, are you suggesting what I think you are?"

"Roy Mustang, there was never a doubt in my mind that I would pick you as my successor, I hope you realize that."

"This is all happening way too fast, shouldn't you get someone a bit more experienced, I mean not like I'm turning you down, and it's just..."

"You were the youngest colonel and the youngest general, might as well continue your streak as the youngest Fuhrer."

"Is that it then, you're really saying that in a year I'm... Fuhrer?" Roy was dumbstruck. His mind was having a hard time processing the words that Grumman was saying.

"That's right. I'm sure you will be able to run this country and continue to follow all the dreams you have for the future. I always told you that one day you'd be here, and it's better sooner than later."

"Sir, I don't know what to say, really. I'm honoured." His dreams were all coming true, but it still hurt as he thought about having all of this without Riza.

As if Grumman had read his mind, he said "Are you sure you'll be okay going forward with all of this in just a year? I know you have been going through some tough times for the past couple of months. I just want you to be at your best when you take over this country."

"Sir, I don't think either of us will ever be able to get over the events of the last couple of months but I have learned that I have to push forward for her sake. This was what she always wanted, now I just have to use this power to create a better future for Amestris and I know she'll be proud, wherever she is."

"That's a relief. I knew I picked the right man. If I do end up dying within the next five years, my only regret will be that I never got to see my granddaughter become the next first lady; I thought I had the future all lined up too. It's a shame how some things work out in the end."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason sir, and I know that everything will be alright as long as the country gets the future it deserves. Our needs shouldn't come before theirs."

"That's right, you better concentrate on our country, and you better not take any other woman as your wife, I'll still consider that cheating on my granddaughter."

Roy was finally able to crack a slight smile and Grumman reverted back to his jovial tone and attitude. "Is that all you wanted to discuss sir?"

"I'll make an announcement about your inauguration tomorrow; there is one last thing though."

"Yes?"

"Make sure you're the last Fuhrer this country ever has."


	13. Chapter 13

Amerie laid a careful hand atop the small bump present on Riza's stomach, which had finally made an appearance after five months. "I can't believe Nana was right."

Ever since Cora's passing Amerie had become accustomed to living together with Riza and they functioned as a little family of their own.

"Nana's passing makes sense then." Amerie said, looking into Riza's eyes.

"Why is that?"

"Ishvala says that new lives are created as the old ones die out, because Nana is gone now you are able to bring a new life into this world, equal exchange."

"Sounds a bit like alchemy."

"No! Ishvala is against the forbidden art. Recreating matter into whatever you please using a circle and your hands is not equal exchange at all."

"Aren't you using the same materials though? Equivalent exchange is what alchemy is based on."

"Ishvala states that equal effort should be brought forth when a new object is created. Let's say a ladder is built by a person in three days, through hard work. If someone were to create something else with the materials of that ladder but were to do so in an instant, it is not an equal exchange in terms of the effort that went in."

"Hmm, never thought of it like that. In a way, it's saying that alchemy is like cheating?"

"Exactly! Ishvala strives for everything to be equal; anything that opposed to natural order of the world must not be practiced here."

Riza smiled. "You're a smart girl Amerie."

"It's just that I've been exposed to the religion since I was born, children even smaller than me are familiar with the main points of Ishvala's teachings."

Riza stood and brushed the dust off her skirt. "Alright, let's go see Sabrina so she can check on the baby."

"Um, Miss Elizabeth, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, is something wrong?"

"Can I stop calling you Miss Elizabeth?"

Riza inspected the girl's face. "Well, I guess it does sound a bit formal for our relationship. How about just Elizabeth?"

"No! I mean, that still feels weird..."

Riza had known the girl for long enough to know that her fidgeting meant that she had something in mind but was hesitant to say it. "You got a better idea?" Her eyebrow rose with the question.

"Well, I'd, um..." Amerie mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that."

"Can I call you..." Her voice faded away into incoherent mumbles again.

"Amerie, speak up I can hear you."

"Mom! I want to call you... mom."

It took a moment for the weight of Amerie's statement to register in her mind. This girl had no living family and had grown to love her so much that she felt that she was equivalent to a mother figure in her life. She wasn't sure whether to be flattered or afraid at first. She had been taking care of her for two months now but she felt like she had known her forever. She leaned down so that her face was level with Amerie's. "Are you sure you're okay with that sweetheart? I mean, I'm sure that's a title that belongs to your real mother."

"I never knew my mother; she died before I even got to meet her. I just know that she was a good person and I'm sure she's looking down from heaven right now and she is thanking you for everything you're doing for me. I know she'd be happy to pass the job onto you, since she wasn't able to do it herself. "

Riza pondered this for a moment. It felt like a heavy burden but she had already promised that she would take care of her for as long as she could, she might as well take the title with pride. It brought joy to her heart to be the mother the girl never had but always deserved.

"In that case, I'd be honoured to take the title of mom."

* * *

"I can't fucking believe it!" A voice boomed through Sabrina's tent and stopped Riza dead in her tracks just as she was about to enter.

"Josei! What did I tell you about reading newspapers from outside sources? We're not supposed to be worrying ourselves with the events that go on beyond our encampment."

"Have you seen the headline woman? Read it yourself and tell me how it's none of our business." She heard the sound of papers colliding with a surface, and then being shuffled around.

"This... this can't be. The flame alchemist is becoming the next Fuhrer?"

"Our entire village along with most of the people living in it burned to the ground because of him, those who were left were marred due to their injuries and most of them didn't even make it because of him, he was the main asset in a  _genocide_  against our people and they believe that he has what it takes to run this country? I refuse to fucking believe it! I want to march right down to Central and murder him myself."

"Josei! Violence only breeds more violence! You need to calm down."

"To hell with staying calm! This is a major injustice to our people! My blood is boiling every moment that he thinks his actions were rationalized."

"I'm sure they have a good reason for their actions, please don't do anything rash."

"This is why I refuse to be among those who let the filthy Amestrians in, attempting to rebuild what they destroyed. It's too late for forgiveness, and this is just a slap in all our faces. That hot-shot thinks he can forget his actions and do whatever the hell he wants, I'll see to it that never happens."

"Josei wait!" Sabrina cried.

Josei came barreling out of the tent, giving Riza a hard shove out of his way as he left.

"Mom, are you okay?!" Amerie asked, as she held Riza's hand.

She had momentarily forgotten she was standing there with her. "Don't worry, I'm fine." It might bruise by the morning, but nothing serious.

Sabrina noticed them outside the tent. "Elizabeth, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that. He just loses his temper sometimes and-"

Riza held up a hand to signalling for her to stop. "It's alright, I think by now I'm used to Josei throwing a tantrum here and there."

"Please, let's get going to the medical tent, you're here for a check up right?"

Sabrina was visibly shaken and was trying hard to cover it up. "Amerie hurry along to the tent, we will be there in just a second, I just want to talk with Sabrina, alright?" Riza suggested.

"Okay! You better hurry up; I want to make sure the baby is alright." Amerie rushed down the streets, clearly oblivious to anything that might be wrong.

"Sabrina, are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No! No I'm fine he hasn't... he never hurt me. Don't worry. He's upset for a good reason today."

"I overheard, the flame alchemist is becoming... Fuhrer? He's the one who destroyed your village in the war, right? Hasn't he been charged on war crimes, how is he still allowed to be a part of the military?"

"I'm not sure, but I know that those who participated in the war have not been charged on anything, the military still views it as not a matter that needs to be dealt with."

"That's cruel; those who committed these acts should be dealt with accordingly. It's human lives we're talking about here. So many people are left in situations like Amerie in which they have no blood relatives left. It hurts to know that they got away with this."

"We shouldn't retaliate though, violence is never the answer. That is why we chose not to interfere with them in the hopes that they would leave us alone."

"Josei doesn't seem to agree."

"Don't worry, even if he wanted to do something there is nothing he can do. He is just one man; surely he can't take on the military by himself."

"He seems to have a big grudge against with this flame alchemist guy though; I wouldn't put it past him."

"Elizabeth, I wouldn't worry about him, that's my job. You just worry about that baby of yours. We should go ahead to the tent now; Amerie is going to get restless."

"Alright, but if anything ever happens I'm always here Sabrina. Please don't keep anything to yourself, I want you to feel safe."

Sabrina finally cracked a smile. "Thank you, Elizabeth."


	14. Chapter 14

"General, there's been a problem."

Roy swiveled in his chair towards the soldier and shot him an intimidating glare. The soldier immediately straightened his back a bit more and sweat dripped down his forehead. "What kind of problem?" Roy asked.

"Well, as you ordered we have sent out soldiers to track down the stray Ishvalan camps located across the country but we haven't been that well received so far."

"You couldn't convince them to come here? Why aren't they listening?"

"It hasn't been that simple, there are too many of them and they have been quite resilient. They were even trying to fight back and I know you specifically told us not to engage in any sort of altercation with them. The peaceful approach is not working."

"I see." He swiveled back towards the window. He had a grim feeling that his plans of peacefully extracting the stray Ishvalans from their temporary homes and relocating them back to their original holy lands was not going to be that easy.

"Do you have any new plans of action, sir?"

If he was being completely honest with himself, he had predicted this outcome but hadn't thought of any possible solutions yet. He didn't want to have to force them to cooperate but if he could just get them to listen to him, and convince them that a better life awaits them in the newly rebuilt Ishval. If he wanted anything to be done he had no choice but to do it himself. "I'll go and speak with the camps."

"Sir, are you sure you can leave your post for that long?"

"It'll be fine; I'll leave Lieutenant Colonel Miles in charge, I assure you he will be able to handle everything while I'm gone. Do you know how many camps we have to visit, the locations, and how far away from headquarters they are?"

"We know for sure the locations of two of them not too far from here, and we have heard of a third farther west from here. We believe that these are the only camps that exist housing Ishvalans that refuse to return to the homeland, sir."

"Excellent, tell the soldiers to get ready again, we will all leave for the first camp in the morning."

"Yes sir!" The soldier threw a salute and marched out the door.

* * *

He wasn't sure why he was here.

After haphazardly packing his belongings for the trip, he found himself wandering through an alchemized door and into the long forsaken residence of Riza Hawkeye.

After six months of being unoccupied the home felt desolate, the musty scent in the air leaving him unsettled. He hadn't bothered to clean up anything as the hope that she would be coming back anytime now was still a prominent thought in his mind. He walked into her bedroom, her sheets were still messily hanging off the side where she had probably had to hurry to get out and help with the attack, which was almost amusing to see. Riza was one of the cleanest people he knew and would always insist in making her bed every morning.

He couldn't take just standing there any longer and he crawled onto the bed and buried his face into the pillow Riza usually slept on. Her scent was fading but he could still smell that wonderful faint lilac smell he always associated with her. He always loved the fact that even though she was a military woman she didn't smell like gunpowder and sweat as most marksmen did, she always put her guns away at the range and came out smelling like flowers.

He noticed something glimmering out of the corner of his eyes and leaned over the bedside table to find Riza's gun, 'HAWKEYE' engraved on the side. Of course, she always kept a gun at her bedside but it was strange that she had left it there. He had gotten her that specific gun a couple years prior for her birthday, it was specially weighted to be more comfortable in her hands and it was her favourite. He assumed she must have been in a real hurry that she couldn't even bother to grab it.

He sat up and ran a finger over her engraved letters. Not only had he lost the best body guard, Amestris had lost their best sharpshooter. He knew that she only used guns to protect him, and if there was one reason she liked them it was that death was always quick, nobody would have to suffer for long. She loved them as a tool for protecting, but she hated them as a tool for killing.

He decided to keep her gun with him, as a bit of a keepsake. Just because she was gone and he was trying to move forward doesn't mean that he couldn't believe that there was a part of her that would always be with him, pushing him forward.

He was abruptly woken up from his thoughts by loud barking and the sound of paws hitting the floor. Hayate was asleep in his room but he must have woken up and saw his master's door open and got excited. He walked into the living room to a disappointed Hayate, another false alarm. He patted his head as a sort of apology. "Hey Hayate, I'm going to be leaving in the morning so I'm going to have to take you to stay with uncle Fuery for a while, alright?"

He could have sworn the dog looked sad for a moment but then he understood, nodding and giving him a quick bark.

"Hey... do you think your mom is still out there?" He must've been going crazy if he was now asking the dog questions, but he knew that Hayate was no ordinary dog.

To the question Hayate gave him an excited yip in which Roy took as an adamant yes.

To this Roy couldn't help but chuckle, how could he doubt for a moment that Hayate was fully aware of human speech. "Alright then, if you say so then I have no choice but to believe you."


	15. Chapter 15

The wind was constantly blowing the sand into her face. It seeped into the folds of her beige cloak, under her clothes, and it gritted between her teeth. She felt disgusting. Even though she was camping in the shade she felt exceptionally hot, sweat dripping down her forehead.

She held something in her hands, the cool metal against her fingertips made her feel uneasy. She opened her eyes to a grim scene. People were screaming and crying below her as they tried to run. The ground was littered with bodies and soaked in blood. She now realized her finger was on the trigger of a rifle, her scope scanning the terrain below her.

They all were trying to run from something they couldn't escape. Whether they were shot down by foot soldiers or were trapped by alchemists there was no getting away. Her stomach twisted every time she saw someone drop. She was high above ground and there was nothing she could do.

That's when she noticed a family trying to run; they had a child with them. Every time the little girl tripped they would try and get her back up and just run as fast as possible. That's when the true devastation occurred. The sky lit up in flames, covering the entire area she was watching. Almost everyone suffered burns, and most died instantly. The rest lied there in agonizing pain, screaming and twitching from the lacerations that covered they're entire body. They would die eventually, but not without a heap of suffering first.

The family was no longer there. The father laid crisp and motionless, the mother twitched around until she stopped shifting as well. The girl had miraculously escaped with minor burns to her arms and legs. She was grief struck over the sight of her dead parents but if she just sat there crying there would be no hope for her. She wanted to yell out, tell her to run, but she wasn't in control of her body. Instead, what she did was lift her rifle until the girl's head was centered in her crosshair. No matter what she did she couldn't stop herself. Her finger adjusted on the trigger. It felt like paralysis, she tried to scream, yell, move, but her body did not obey. In that moment her body only had one motive, and that was to kill everyone below. _No. No!_

The shot fired and she heard herself scream, realizing that she was no longer in the desert but instead lying in her bed. She sat up and was breathing heavily; her entire body was soaked in sweat. It was just a nightmare.

Amerie darted over to her bed, woken up by Riza's screaming. "Mom? Mom! Are you okay?"

It took a moment for her thoughts to catch up to her actions as she finally realized that the horror was over and she was back in reality. She looked over to see Amerie almost in tears she was so scared. "I'm alright Amerie, everything's fine." It wasn't very convincing considering she was still trying to calm her harsh breaths down. "It was just a nightmare; you can go back to bed."

"Mom, you don't _look_ fine." She climbed into the bed and wrapped her arms around her. "Please don't cry."

She hadn't even realized there were tear stains down her face. She wiped at her face and took one big deep breath to finally calm herself down completely. This was probably the first time she had shown a weaker side of herself and it must've shocked Amerie so much she thought something was seriously wrong. "It's all over now that I'm awake. You don't have to worry, please go back to bed." She didn't want to keep her up any longer.

"What if you have another nightmare? I don't want you to cry again!" Amerie looked legitimately scared and Riza felt awful about it. She didn't know what brought about such a horrendous nightmare in the first place.

The only thing she remembered clearly was holding that gun in her hand, ready to shoot an innocent child without any hesitation. It frightened her to think that she and the person in her dream could be the same person. She couldn't imagine ever willingly taking someone's life; in fact the thought of even considering it disgusted her. She wished it was one of those nightmares's that would be completely lost as soon as you wake up. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get the images out of her head. She was in a desert that eerily reminded her of the former camp location, the deserts of Ishval. The flames reminded her of the stories that she had heard about the village's demise. Had she been dreaming of the war? The images were so vivid in the dream that it almost felt like her mind knew exactly what happened, as if she had experienced it firsthand. That's impossible though, why would she have been involved in such a savage occurrence, unless... _There was no way._

Could she be recovering memories from her past life?

"Mom? Mom?!" Amerie held her should and shook her softly.

"Sorry, I was just... lost in thought."

"Can I sleep here tonight? I'll make sure you don't have any more nightmares." Amerie pleaded.

"Yes that's alright, if you can find room in this tiny bed." She allowed herself a small smile. Her stomach was now at a decent size for it to be obvious that she was pregnant and the room on her bed was becoming more limited.

"Don't worry, there plenty of room!" Amerie said as she positioned herself half on the bed and half on top of her. "No more nightmares, I promise."

She was right. _Just a nightmare_ , she decided. She took Amerie into her arms as best she could and fell into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

"The cold season will be here soon, we must start packing up and heading back to the desert." Amerie told her mother as she awoke to everyone bustling around the village. "In the spring and summer we prefer to spend closer to the forests to avoid the heat, but in the cold seasons the desert will still be warm and livable." Amerie explained before Riza had a chance to ask.

"All right," Riza yawned. "I guess I should start helping." The nausea had calmed down now that she was seven months pregnant but now she felt tired all the time. It was hard to describe, she wasn't tired as in she wanted to sleep, but tired in a way that she just didn't want to move around.

"You can rest longer if you want, I know you're tired. I already got something for you to eat, and don't worry about me. I ate a while ago." Amerie said proudly.

She was really grateful to have her around when she felt like this. She may not be perfect but when it came to taking care of her during her pregnancy Amerie was an angel. "Thank you, I appreciate it. Don't do everything yourself though, I promise I'll come help later."

"Alright, but I don't want you doing anything hard while you're pregnant! My little brother or sister is going to be upset." Amerie came over and placed a hand on her mother's stomach as she often did, and as if the baby sensed her she instantly felt a kick where her hand was and broke out into giggles. "See, they like me already."

Riza joined in the laughter. The baby seemed to be overly hyperactive at random points of the day, using the inside of her stomach as a heavy bag. "If they're this excitable in the womb I'm scared to see what they'll be like once they're out here."

"Don't worry, I can handle them!" Amerie declared.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say. Go and pack, I'm just going to lie here for another hour, or two." Riza said, putting her head back down on the pillow.

"I'm going now! Don't get up!" Amerie said as she ran off.

* * *

By the time Riza coaxed herself from her bed it was mid-afternoon. Amerie was almost finished packing up all of their things and she helped do minor things as Amerie wouldn't let her do any heavy lifting, no matter how capable she thought she was.

"Looks like we're done here, I feel like I haven't done anything though." Riza said ruefully.

"Oh! Sabrina told me earlier that she needed help moving since she was going to be busy with patients for most of the day and Josei was probably not going to help. I think I'm done for the day but you can drop by if you want to help some more. I can trust her not to overwork you!" Amerie suggested.

"All right I'll head over there and see if she's home." Riza said before waving bye to Amerie.

She arrived at Sabrina's tent to find it wide open and items scattered everywhere. It looked like she was in the middle of packing but was nowhere near finished. She allowed herself to walk inside, since Sabrina was probably in there. Instead she found an empty dwelling with even more chaos in terms of the way objects were lying everywhere. It was then she caught a glimpse of a metal object sitting on a table that made her stomach drop.

She told her body to back away but instead she approached it with intrigue. Her hand reached out and touched the grip, running her fingers along it until she picked it up. The gun sat in her hand perfectly, her fingers automatically aligned with all the grooves by instinct. It felt so familiar, almost comforting to hold.

"What are you doing?" Sabrina appeared behind her, her voice ridden with shock.

Riza was so surprised she gasped aloud and dropped the gun onto the floor. "I'm so sorry, I came to help and I thought you would be inside and I..."

"It's alright; I just left it there to go find something to put it in. It's my fault; I should've left it in the drawer."

Riza's mind caught up with the seriousness of situation, as before all she could think about was why she felt so satisfied to have a gun in her hand. "Sabrina, why do you have this?"

"Okay, I know you said I shouldn't be keeping things from you, and technically I'm not. You said I could trust you, so I trust you not to tell anyone I have a gun if I tell you why I have it. The villagers are against violence and guns were also used in the war, they wouldn't be pleased to know that I have one."

"Of course I wouldn't tell anyone, but I hope there's a reasonable explanation to this." Riza said.

"It's kind of... self-defense." Sabrina replied.

"Self-defense?" Riza walked over and put her hands on her shoulders, making sure she was staring straight into her eyes. "I thought you told me Josei hasn't hurt you." She was able to put two and two together once she heard her say self-defence.

"He hasn't! I wasn't lying. It's just that recently I feel like he's been inching closer and closer to the edge of actually doing something. It has me very worried, and I'm not a very strong person really. If something did happen I wouldn't know what to do..."

"Sabrina, if you're that worried perhaps you should just leave him."

"That's the thing, I can't! I feel that something like that is enough to trigger him, and I just really don't want anything to happen. Yes I have a gun, but I don't want to have to use it! I've never even fired a gun before, what if I accidentally kill him? I couldn't live with myself if I did that. I can barely live with myself now; I just... don't know what to do except for try to stay on his good side. I've been getting angrier and angrier with him but I realize now that's probably why he's becoming like this."

"That's not true. You've always had a reason to yell at him, his anger issues have been flaring up but it's not because of you." Riza walked over to the gun and picked off the floor and placed it in Sabrina's hand. "Don't think of this as a weapon for hurting people, think of it as a tool for protecting yourself. Please don't ever think you're a bad person for putting your safety above all."

"You really don't think I'm awful for carrying this thing around?"

"Not at all, guns can be used for evil yes, but so can a lot of things. You only intend to use it for protection, which is a respectable thing to do. I know you'd never use it for evil."

"Thank you, for understanding. Seriously, I can't say that I'm really close with anyone in the village, even though I know practically everyone. It's truly an honour to have someone like you to confide in."

"If you say so, although the pregnant lady with no memories wouldn't be my first choice to share all my secrets with."

"Well, I had no choice. You did seem pretty intrigued with the gun though; did it remind you of something?"

"...actually I did have a dream—"

Amerie bolted into the tent, breathing heavily she shouted, "SABRINA! Is Josei here?" She was panting heavily from how fast she had run here.

Sabrina turned to face her while discreetly holding the gun behind her back. "No he's not. Is there a problem?"

"There's a man outside, he said he wants to speak to the head of the encampment _immediately_."


	16. Chapter 16

Travelling across the desert was a much more tedious task than Roy had expected. Since you couldn't take any sort of vehicle onto the sand you had two options; to walk or to ride a camel, both of which were so excruciatingly slow that after a week of travel when he was told there was still another day to go, he thought he was going to pull all his hair out. He was currently travelling in a carriage pulled by a camel with five other soldiers. They had to find three camps, if it took this long to get to the first one he was now only hoping he would be back in time to make it to his own inauguration. What had to be done had to be done, once this was all dealt with he could return to Central and watch over the restoration efforts from there, while he prepared to receive the title of Fuhrer.

"General, I believe we've arrived."

"Didn't you just tell me that we still had another day of travelling?" Roy replied the soldier, bewildered but relieved.

"Sorry sir, the desert all looks the same to me. I couldn't quite tell how far we had gone, but I see the ruins right up ahead."

He had gotten lost, he could tell by the look on his face. There's no way it should've taken that long. At least that had made it to their destination. Roy decided to ignore the miscalculation and just head right on to the camp. There were still many Ishvalans that were using the ruins of Xerxes as a home since they fled from their homeland. The closer he got the more he doubted there was anyone inhabiting the place, it seemed desolate. Just a moment after that thought had crossed his mind he was greeted by the head of a rifle poking out from a structure.

As he heard the gun go off his military instincts kicked in and he immediately dropped to the ground, narrowly avoiding a bad situation.  _They weren't kidding when they said they were being violent._

"Leave us alone! The military is not welcome here!" He heard a man's voice from behind the ruins.

Roy cautiously got back on his feet, his hands out in front of him trying to signal that he meant no harm. "I come in peace! Please, I would like to speak with the leader of this camp in a civil matter." He yelled back.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

Roy removed the one gun he was carrying and placed it on the ground in front of him, as well as his ignition gloves and his jacket, just to make it clear he didn't have any more concealed weapons. "I do not intend to harm anyone; I have come to discuss matters that are beneficial to you." He chanced a few steps forward and was relieved when no more shots were fired.

A man stepped out from behind the structure, a gun in his hand. "You may come forward, keep your hands behind your head. I will not hesitate to shoot if there is any funny business."

Roy did as he was told, walking up to the man until they were face to face. "I am General Roy Mustang of the Amestrian military and I'm here to discuss the restoration of your holy lands and the immigration of all the Ishvalan people back to their homes."

"Not interested. We have no business to do with the Amestrian military. I suggest you leave while you still have your life."

"Please, the military has been working hard to restore your land, not to make up for all the suffering you went through, we know we will never be able to atone for that. We just want to show you that we are no longer going to be against you, we accept you as part of Amestris and we are doing everything in our power to help the Ishvalans regain some sort of normalcy in their lives. You don't have to live in poverty anymore."

"You expect me to believe you? You're saying that military suddenly changed their views and actually wants to  _help_  us? Sounds like a load of shit to me. Let me tell you something, it's because if you and the rest of the army I lost my wife. It's been almost ten years and I have no idea what happened to her. All the military ever wanted was to rip our families apart, and I don't want any part of your plans."

"Many Ishvalans are already living in the newly rebuilt holy lands, they can't all be wrong. Think about what's the best option, you can't live like this forever. This desert barely has resources for you guys to live on. If you come with us we will provide all your needs, we'll help you get jobs."

"You know my wife was pregnant when I lost her. We had just found out too. The last thing I remember was her being hit by an explosion, blew her left arm clean off. She was screaming for me but I couldn't help her. A building had collapsed that wouldn't let me get to her; I had to escape by myself. All I wanted to do was save her but they wouldn't let me go back. There was no going back. Now I just live with regret that I escaped without her, I should've stayed and tried to do something..." The man was clearly shaken from recalling the memory.

"Gemma." Roy said.

"Excuse me?"

"Your wife, was her name Gemma?"

"H... how did you know that."

"There is a woman who lives in one of the rebuilt properties by the name of Gemma. She told me she lost her left arm during the war, and it was a miracle that she was able to escape." During the restoration Roy had tried to befriend as many of the Ishvalans as he could in an attempt to get them on his good side. The children who had no memory of the war were the first to realize they meant no harm, so the adults followed more easily.

The man looked at him, speechless.

"I met her through her son, he's a wonderful boy. He came up to me and asked me one day why I was wearing such a heavy uniform when it was so hot out and he offered me some water. He speaks to me every time he sees me now, he's a good kid, and I'd guess he's around ten years old."

"Are you telling the truth?" The man was still trying to get a hold of his emotions.

"Of course. They both live happily in the holy lands, but Gemma once told me that she knows her husband escaped during the war but she hadn't seen him yet. She's still hoping that one day he'll return, she's been optimistic, even after ten years." Roy couldn't help but smile when thinking of that memory; he could use some of her optimism himself.

The man couldn't handle the rush of emotions anymore; he fell to his knees and dropped the gun. His hands covered his face but he couldn't mask the sound of his piercing sobs. His body shook every time he breathed in and out.

Roy got on his knees and put an arm around him. "Will you please consider moving yourself and this encampment back to Ishval, this is the last time I'm going to try and convince you. " Roy knew his answer already.

All the man did was nod his head yes, and continue to spill his tears over the desert sand.


	17. Chapter 17

Life always seemed to be full of surprises, no matter how much you planned in advance there will be always something that was unaccounted for.

A month earlier a man had came rushing into the village warning them that they needed to evacuate immediately because the military was already aware of the camp's location and they were planning to seek it out. Josei was the first to act on this; we were planning on moving camp anyways be he just decided to speed the entire process up. That meant that now, nearly a month later she was stuck lying down in the back of a camel-drawn carriage, burning under the Ishvalan sun. He insisted that they try to find a new location instead of the one they usually returned to every winter but it turns out there wasn't many sufficient living spaces lying around the desert. She wasn't sure if it was the size of her stomach, the lack of proper substance, the constant heat, or a combination of all three that was making her more irritable than usual. All this travelling could not have been healthy for her, but nonetheless she decided to stay strong and not be the one to complain about the circumstances. If they were going to these lengths to avoid the military there must be a good reason, so she kept hanging on to the fact that this was all for the best.

She had been getting cramps for the past month and it just made her feel awful. She was now in her ninth month of pregnancy, which meant that her baby could be arriving at any time, since Sabrina could not predict the exact date. Amerie was already excited to see her new sibling, constantly putting her mouth near her stomach and telling the baby that it was time to come out already. She would have been okay with this, she was more than done with the whole pregnancy thing, and she herself couldn't contain her excitement when it came to meeting her new child. It had been wholly her decision to keep it and she was not regretting it anytime soon. However, she had hoped they would have found a new camp before she was due. They had been combing the desert for weeks and Sabrina kept telling me to hold my baby in, whatever that meant. Riza was sure that was physically impossible, but she assumed that Sabrina was trying to send her body a subconscious signal not to go into labour until we were on solid ground.

She had been feeling horribly uncomfortable all day, her body felt odd and she couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Her instincts scared her, for the past couple of months they had usually been right. Was the military going to find them? Were they going to be taken hostage? No. That wasn't it. It was not that kind of ominous feeling, it was something different-

"Mom, are you okay? You spilled your water! That stuff is precious you know, we're running low." Amerie chimed in from her seat beside her.

"Amerie... I wasn't drinking water."

A flicker of realization darted across her face as she literally jumped out of the back of the slow-moving carriage screaming fiercely, "SABRINA! SABRINA! HELP! WATER! BABY! ELIZABETH!" She was obviously trying to grasp the urgency of the situation herself.

It wasn't long before the entire line of carriages had come to a complete halt and Sabrina was by her side.  _Thanks body, great timing_ , Riza thought ruefully.

"I thought I told you to wait until we got settled, Josei is probably fuming." She was clearly joking, but there was a bit of truth in her statement.

"Sabrina, I really don't think there is anything that's going to make this situation better. I'm going to give birth in the back of a carriage and I just want it to be over with." Riza replied in a throaty voice, and then grasped her abdomen in pain.

"Understood." Sabrina gave her a quick smile before running off to find some supplies.

* * *

It had been under two hours of excruciating pain before she was greeted by the cries of her newborn baby. She felt so tired but as soon as she heard it a surge of energy filled her body and all she wanted to do was hold them in her arms.

Riza watched as Sabrina took care of most of the post-birth happenings up until she swaddled the baby in a makeshift blanket and  _finally_ handed them to her.

"Congratulations, he looks like a healthy baby boy." Sabrina said as cheerfully as she could, but something on her face told her that there was something else she wanted to say, but didn't quite have the right words. One look at her baby and she understood why.

He was just a baby but there were a couple of discernible features that threw her off. His skin was a couple shades lighter than hers; he looked like he was made of porcelain. His eyes were dark, much darker then her hazel eyes, almost black in colour. Lastly, he was born were a few small tufts of inexplicably black hair, an obvious contrast from hers. Even after examining his face there was just nothing about this baby that looked like her. She and Sabrina exchanged glances but neither decided to address the elephant in the room. "He's... beautiful." She really did mean it, whether he looked like her or not there was no doubt that he was her own flesh and blood and she never wanted to put him down. He was swaddled so tightly only his head was visible, but he had stopped crying and his eyes were closed as if he was asleep so she didn't want to bother him too much. "Thank you for everything Sabrina, seriously." Riza said amiably, trying to hide the voice crack at the end. She was so overcome with emotion but she was vigorously trying to keep herself from crying.

"Hey, don't even worry about that. I'd do this for anyone in the village, they are my people and I live to make sure they're alright." Sabrina said modestly.

"Hey! I heard crying! Can I come in yet? Please!" Amerie yelled from just outside the carriage where she had been waiting.

"Yes, it's okay to come in now." Sabrina replied.

"Yay!" Amerie yelled as she hopped inside, immediately being shushed by Sabrina due to the sleeping baby in the room.

She covered her mouth in embarrassment as she tiptoed over to her mom and took a look at her new sleeping brother. "Mom, can I hold it, please?"

"Just be gentle with him please." She said as she cautiously handed the sleeping baby over to Amerie.

"He's so tiny! Mom, he doesn't really look like you."

"I told you to be quiet Amerie, no yelling."

"I'm sorry! I've never seen someone with such dark hair before, he looks exotic mom, completely different from our hair." She whispered.

Amerie was probably unaware that what she had said was a bit of a touchy subject. She tried to put together the image of the baby's father in her head, dark hair, dark eyes, and pale skin. She put all the pieces together in her mind but she still couldn't remember anything before she arrived at camp. She inwardly cursed herself, she was hoping she would figure out something after the birth of the baby, like something would miraculously click, but she was still at a loss. She held comfort in the fact that since she didn't know who the father was there was always a chance that it was someone she didn't want to see again anyways.

"Mom, what are you going to name him?" Amerie interrupted her thoughts.

"Honestly, I hadn't given it much though."

"Can I suggest something?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, my father's name was Aidan, and I didn't really know him but I think it's a nice name and I'm sure somewhere up in heaven... I'm sure he'd appreciate it, I mean, if you like the name..."

Riza smiled candidly. "Aidan sounds like a wonderful name Amerie, It'd be an honour to name him after your father."

Aidan twitched in his sleep and Amerie got a bit excited so Riza decided to take him back before any accidents happened.

"Mom, if you're tired you can sleep. I'll stay up and make sure both you and the baby are alright."

Riza wanted to contest but she was very tired.

"Is everything done here? I'd like for us to actually get moving again." Josei had poked his head into the back of the cart, obviously not impressed that they had to make such a long pit stop. As he climbed aboard his eyes fell onto the baby is Riza's arms and his eyes widened in shock. "Is  _that_  your child?" he said as if he was revolted just by looking at him.

Riza instinctively clutched Aidan closer to her. "Yes." She knew they were already on bad terms but she was never afraid of him.

"Dark hair and dark eyes, he looks like that  _bloody_  alchemist who destroyed our village!" Josei was now seething.

Sabrina was the first to put a hand on his shoulder. "Josei calm down, there's no need to be angry at a newborn." She said firmly.

"I knew it was a mistake to let you stay here. I can't force you to go now, but I expect you to keep yourself and your filthy  _bastard_ child away from me." He stormed out before anyone had a chance to respond.

"I'm so sorry." Sabrina apologized immediately.

"I've told you before; you don't need to apologize for his actions." Riza said.

"He really went too far this time."

"He didn't bother me before and he doesn't bother me now. I don't want to start a fight with him, especially now that I have much more important things to worry about."

"Whatever you and your baby need, as soon as we find somewhere to live I will provide everything for you."

Riza felt wrong accepting so much stuff, but she didn't have many belongings of her own and no means in getting any. "Sabrina, do you want to hold him?"

"... I'd love to." Sabrina took the tiny baby and just gazed at him lovingly.

"Sabrina, I don't think I need to remember anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"My memories, no matter how hard I try I can't remember anything. Then I just started asking myself, why do I need to remember? I'm happy living here with you guys, and now I have a family that I can look forward to taking care of. I'm just wondering if there really any point of trying to confuse myself with what has happened in the past. I don't even know if it's a life that I would want to return to, or if I can even return if I wanted to."

"What about the," Sabrina paused for a bit and spoke more quietly. "The father of your child, do you want to know?"

"There's always a chance that the father of this child wouldn't accept the baby even if he knew he existed. If they really cared I probably wouldn't have been thrown off a cliff whilst I was pregnant. Part of me doesn't even want to know what happened. I just think after all these months it's time to accept the fact that there no point in living for the past."

Sabrina nodded in understanding.

"I have to move forward." Riza resolved.


	18. Chapter 18

The eastern desert had always been a vast place but when you were travelling in it with soldiers who didn't have the best set of directions to follow it seemed to be never-ending. They were supposed to be on their way to the last camp right now, after successfully clearing out the other two prior. Roy couldn't do anything but wait and it was frustrating. He always tried to occupy his mind with something, when he was left by himself with just his thoughts they often wandered places he knew they shouldn't. The fact that the only scenery he saw was the desert was not helping. He tried to think about the future, his new duties when he became Fuhrer, and accomplishing his goals. Instead he thought about all the cruel things he had done in this very desert, and how it was his fault that Riza had to do the same. He at least took solace in remembering Riza, not focusing on how much he missed her but just focusing on the times when she was here. He remembered the last night he spent with her as if it were yesterday.

* * *

"Roy, are you coming to bed?"

He was sitting on her sofa staring at a wall, deep in his thoughts when she nudged him on the shoulder. "Oh! Right. I'm coming." They walked together to her room and climbed into bed.

"Is something on your mind?" Riza asked.

He turned on his side to face her. "I was just wondering, now that we're okay being together like this, what's next?"

"What exactly do you mean?"

He fidgeted nervously. "You know, would you ever consider making our relationship public, and maybe getting married?"

Riza's face twisted in distaste. "Roy can we please not talk about this right now, I'm sleepy." It was completely uncharacteristic for Riza to avoid talking like this.

"Liar, I know when you're too sleepy to talk. Why don't you want to marry me?" He stared at her with mild contempt.

"Roy, it's not that. Of course I'd like to get married, but I just don't think that's an option for us anymore."

"Why?"

Riza gave up on pretending to be tired and propped herself up so she could talk to him seriously. "The anti-fraternization rules exist for a reason. If everyone were to know of our relationship then they would start to target me to go after you. I can't leave the military either, I promised to watch your back until you became Fuhrer and most likely after you become Fuhrer as well."

"People have targeted you in the past and we're still here. I know that we can make it through anything, we are both capable people. I could never ask you to leave the military, but I think we could make it work."

She took in his pleading eyes for a moment before she answered. "If the opportunity ever arises that we will be able to wed and stay in the military, then I'd be happy to accept on one condition."

Roy's eyes lit up and he urged her to continue.

"If anything were to happen to me you have to promise to keep moving forward to accomplish your goals."

Roy almost too eagerly accepted the condition before thinking it through. He never wanted to imagine something happening to Riza, it was enough to see her throat cut open on the promised day and then watch helplessly as she almost bled to death. He was willing to commit human transmutation to save her but he knew he couldn't disobey that look in her eyes that adamantly disagreed. The thought of him moving forward without her was completely out of the question, but he knew that wasn't the answer she wanted. "Riza, I-"

"Roy, we may be together but you and I are two separate people. If one of us is gone it shouldn't end the other as well. This country needs you whether I'm here or not. You're the only one who can truly make a difference. Don't make so many people suffer because you couldn't overcome the loss of one person. It's not right. We need to keep moving forward and helping others. That's the reason we both joined the military in the first place."

She was right. She was  _always_  right. "I understand. It's hard to accept but I know the future of our country comes before any sort of personal needs."

"So you agree to that condition?"

"Of course, but I'll make sure that nothing ever happens to you." He said with a grin.

"You've always been such a wishful thinker Roy."

"Hey, that's just one of the many reasons you love me, right?"

"I don't recall ever saying that."

He playfully hit her in the arm. "I guess there is no choice but to agree with my almost-wife."

"Hey, I didn't say that we're going to actually get married. There are rules in place and its unlikely that is going to change anytime soon."

"Are you kidding? Grumman has been asking me to marry you since we were at Eastern command. He's going to make sure it happens. He keeps bugging me about him getting a bunch of great grandchildren."

"He's going to be waiting forever if that's the case."

"Hmm, you don't want children Riza? I thought you loved children." She had always had a built in motherly instinct, and he knew from when they were children that she always wanted to have kids.

"Roy, it's wrong. People like us, having children after what we've done. Do you know how many children I've  _killed_?"

The thought bore through him and made him think, he honestly had no idea how many people he had killed because everything had gone up in flames before he even had a chance to register what he had just done. "Riza, what happened to living for the future and not the past?"

"I know, I know, it's just such an eerie thought. How could people like us create life after we've taken so much? There's also the fact that we're in the military, I have chosen to watch your back and I don't intend on leaving the military to raise children."

"You don't have to leave permanently. If we were to have children I'd release you from your duties for the time being."

"And I'd refuse to step down. Kids just don't fit into our career. We put our lives on the line every day when we come to work. Can you imagine something happening to both of us on the battlefield and our children not having any parents to come home to? It's a horrible thought Roy. As much as I would've liked to have children, I don't think it's an option for us anymore."

"I understand, and I agree on most levels. As much as it'd be great to start a family of our own I see why it would be a bad idea. We can try to be as happy as we can with each other anyways."

"So, you're not mad at me?"

"I'll be alright, you're reasoning makes sense for the both of us. Besides without any kids running around we could have some more times to ourselves." He ran a hand down her arm and lowered his face so it was inches from hers.

"So, after all of that deep conversation you try to instantly transition into seducing me? You're amazing, Roy Mustang."

"The real question is, have I succeeded?"

She pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him in what felt like one fast motion. "I'd say it's had a positive effect." She leaned down to kiss him fiercely. Any other discussions would have to wait until morning.

* * *

"General wake up!"

Roy jolted from his sleep by the soldier yelling at him.

"General Mustang, we've reached the last camp."


	19. Chapter 19

Tonight she felt warmth in the form of arms wrapped around her tiny body. A woman held her closely to her chest, her blonde hair cascading down the sides of her face. Her sharp crimson eyes pierced her soul as she gazed upon her. It gave her a strong feeling of comfort.

"Darling, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to stay with you much longer."

Her hand started crumbling around her, dissolving into sand then being carried away by the wind. She was already crying as she yelled. "No, mom! Mom come back! You can't leave me! No!"

She abruptly awoke from her dream to the sound of crying that was not her own.

"Mom! I can't sleep of Aidan is going to be crying all night." She noticed that her mom was covered in sweat and was breathing heavily. "Mom, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She felt like memories from her old life were suddenly trespassing into her mind. She vaguely remembered her mother, she knew she hadn't been around for long but she was one of the people she had loved the most. No, she shouldn't embrace these memories. She had to forget and move on, she promised.

"Mom, stop the crying!" Amerie pleaded.

"Alright alright calm down I'm getting up." Even though she had been told she had a great motherly instinct when it came to Amerie it didn't really follow through to when she started taking care of Aidan. She had Sabrina by her side helping her and telling her how to properly take care of a baby, as she was more clueless than she thought she would've been. Now that it had been an entire month since he was born she was finally getting used to it, however waking up multiple times during the night was starting to have a toll on her sanity. Once she saw his face though, she couldn't ever be angry at him. She put him up on her shoulder and started rubbing his back and walking around hoping it would soothe him. "Shh, don't cry." He didn't seem to need a diaper change and she was doubtful that he was hungry since she fed him the last time he started crying.

"Wait mom, I have an idea to get him to stop crying!"

"Oh really?"

"It's a lullaby Nana used to sing to me when I was younger to put me to sleep. Honestly, I don't remember the words but I remember the melody. I could hum it."

Riza leaned down and held him out to her. "If you really want to I'm sure it's worth a try."

Amerie smiled and then started humming a comforting melody. The more she hummed the more Aidan started to calm down until eventually it lulled him to sleep. Riza couldn't help but recognize the melody herself. "Mom look, it worked!"

"Shh, Amerie you can't yell when the baby is sleeping." She let out a breath when she realized Aidan hadn't woken up. "Amerie, do you know where your grandmother learned that song?"

"I think Nana told me once that it was an old Ishvalan lullaby, that's all I know about it. Why do you ask?"

"It's nothing. I'm going to put Aidan back to bed; you better go back as well." To say it meant nothing to her was a great lie. She recognized the tune as the same lullaby her mother sang to her as a young child. It seemed as if hearing something related to her old life triggered many memories in the back of her mind. She now remembered parts of her younger days; she spent a lot of time with her mother. Her father was hard to remember but she knew he was around. She remembered up until her mother left and then it was all blank again. It seemed as though as soon as she was exposed to something familiar her memories tried to resurface. It had been happening this whole time but it was only now that she seemed to regain an entire chunk of memories, instead of just having a distant feeling that something was related to her.

Could this mean that it was possible for her to regain all of her memories back?

She was obviously frustrated that her memories were only coming back now when she tried to push them away. What would happen if they came back? She already had a life here that she was quite content with, she wasn't sure if there would be anything that existed in her former life that would tear her away from this. No, there really couldn't be anything.

She hoped.

* * *

She was elated to wake up and see that it was morning and she hadn't had to get up again to soothe a crying Aidan. As usual Amerie was already up, simply staring at her new brother who was still asleep. Between herself and Amerie she wasn't sure who was more mystified by the new addition to the family.

The peaceful moment was suddenly ruined by yelling coming from outside. "Mom, what was that?"

It sounded like a huge commotion was going on and it worried her. "Amerie, stay here and keep an eye on Aidan, I'm just going to step outside and see what's going on."

"Be careful mom."

She nodded and marched out the tent and approached a huge gathering of people. She wasn't scared at all; her first instinct was to find out what was going on. She weaved her way through crowd until she reached the front. She first noticed Josei leading them, he always looked somewhat angry but at this moment he was absolutely livid. She felt two arms on her shoulder before she could take in the rest of the scene.

"Elizabeth you have to get your children and get out of here right now." Sabrina demanded as soon as she saw her.

"What's going on?!"

"It's the military; they've come to take us away. We can't let them poison our minds with their lies."

"That's impossible, how did they find us?"

"I don't know! All I know is that you have two children and you need to escape." The desperate look in her eyes let her know that she was dead serious about this.

"What about you? Aren't you going to come?"

"I can't leave yet, I'm not sure what's going to happen but at the only doctor I need to stay just in case something bad arises, Also," She turned her head to look back at the confrontation going on; she was able to see now a man was yelling at Josei, a man in military blue. "I have to keep an eye on Josei, I can't just leave him to do as he pleases. If it gets out of hand I'm the only one who can stand up to him."

She found Sabrina's words getting lost in her eardrums as she instead focused in on the man from the military screaming his lungs out. His black hair and porcelain skin along with those dark eyes. He was trying to calm himself down as his eyes settled on her. Of course, she stood out in a crowd of Ishvalans with her blonde hair and light skin, but the way his eyes were glued on her caused unease deep within her. She thought she could almost see him shaking as his eyed widened. He turned in her direction and took a step towards her. She should have been running by now but her feet refused to move. Instead she shimmied out of Sabrina's grasp and turned to face the man as well.

He took another step forward as his shaking hand reached out towards her. She took a step backwards as the man finally spoke, addressing her.

"Riza?"


	20. Chapter 20

Roy stepped off the cart and approached the camp alone. The other soldiers were nearby in case anything happened but he knew that if he approached with a group of soldiers they would be more likely to attack. His arrival had not gone unnoticed as many of the villagers either approached him or went off to hide. He was about to make an announcement but an angry villager interrupted him.

"The _flame_ alchemist! How dare you march across the sands on which you destroyed our people?" The man yelled.

Many more people decided to gather around after he made the announcement. "I see I don't even have to introduce myself." The amount of attention he was drawing was disconcerting.

"Ha! I can guarantee you everyone in this camp knows you in some way. I suggest you leave now, my patience is wearing thin and once it runs out you're a dead man."

"Please, I have come to make a peaceful request that you all evacuate this camp and move back into your original land. The military is working to rebuild your nation and we need all the misplaced Ishvalans to return. This is all for your sake."

"Stop spewing your lies and get out! Why would the military that was so eager to eradicate us years ago suddenly want to help us? Of all people to send as well, it just had to be  _you_. It must be God's will that we've met once again."

Roy was a bit confused, as he didn't recall ever seeing this man. He had tried to block out most of his memories of Ishval so it wasn't a surprise that he couldn't remember. "I don't know you, but all I'm asking is for you to peacefully come with us. I can promise you better living conditions."

The man laughed heartily at this. "Take a look around, does anyone here look like they want to go with you?"

Roy glanced around at the crowd of people, the looks on their faces was a mixture of anger and unease. He then caught a glimpse of a man with half of his face horribly disfigured. He knew right away what had caused it. On a closer inspection he could see many of the people wore scars on their body. They were all burn marks.

"Have you noticed yet? It was you  _Roy Mustang_  that burned down our town. You killed the families of most of the people here. Do you really think they'd ever believe a word you're saying?"

_No... It couldn't be._ He was trying to keep himself composed but the memories were coming back and his sins were echoing in his brain and making themselves known. He was collapsing inside but he had to hold it together.

"Hmm, having an internal crisis? You probably enjoyed annihilating us. You don't care about our people. What the hell would you know about losing the ones you love? You privileged military bastard!"

He cracked. " _What did you say?_ "

"I believe your time here is about up—"

"How  _dare_ you say I don't know what it's like to lose someone I love? You don't know a damn thing!" Any attempt he made to calm himself down was now futile. The rage boiled up over the edge. "I've lost so many people in my life. My parents, my best friend, and the most important woman in my life! They're gone, all gone! There's nothing anyone can do about it! There is no way to bring the dead back to life, all we can do is move forward!"

Taken aback by his outburst, the Ishvalans started talking among themselves more so than before. The man in front held his ground though. "Ah but these people deserve revenge don't they? They can take revenge against you, right here right now."

"What good would that do? More lives lost will not solve anything! Please listen to me, I know I can't undo the things I've done and I can't bring your families back but we must persevere! I know it's hard to trust me but I will never atone for what I have done and I've accepted that. All I want to do is help out as much as I can and try to right some of the wrong!" He bowed his head and tried to hold back the angry tears that were trying to escape. "Please, I'm begging all of you to trust me in this moment; all I want to do is provide a better life for you."

"Tch, you're worthless. You think your words will change our minds?"

It was true, his head rose to scan the crowd of people once more. Some people had calmed down but others still looked as angry as ever. His eyes caught a glimpse of someone who stood out from the crowd, woman with blonde hair and light skin, clearly not Ishvalan. It was when she turned and he saw her face that he felt his heart drop.

_There was no way._

He must have been dreaming, either right at this moment or for the past ten months. Riza Hawkeye was missing but a body was never recovered. The chances that she was still alive were next to nothing. There was no mistaking it though; he would never make a mistake. This was his Riza Hawkeye. It wasn't long before she noticed he was staring at her and she stared back as well. So many emotions were going though his head, the job of gathering the Ishvalans traveled to the back of his mind as he took a step towards her. She was so close, just a few steps away and she would be next to him again. He took another step forward but she took a step back. He cleared his throat, emptied the butterflies out of his stomach, and addressed her clearly. "Riza?"

She just kept staring at him with unease so he decided to completely close the gap between them. "Riza! You're... alive. You're—" His voice cracked and he had to clear his throat once more and take a deep breath. "Riza." He was about to put his arms around her but he felt her push him away before he could.

"Get away from me!" She screamed.

"Riza, what's wrong? It's me, Roy Mustang."

She wavered just a bit before speaking again. "I don't care who you are! The military destroyed the lives of thousands of innocent people. Please stay away from me."

Her vigorous aversion shocked him.  _Could it be that she doesn't remember who he is?_ That would explain how she was alive this entire time but never returned to the military. "Listen to me, your name is Riza Hawkeye and you work as my adjutant in the military, please try to remember."

Now she looked as if she was going to crack. "No... no! Stop telling me lies, my name is Elizabeth and I belong to this village now. There's no way! I would never work for the likes of you." It was already a commotion but now the villagers looked angry because he was making her upset on top of everything he had just done.

"Riza please, you have to believe me. I think about you every single day. Somewhere in your mind you have to remember me." His face alone wasn't enough to jog her memory, but he had something that might be enough. He pulled out the gun from his holster and held it out to her. "See this gun? I got it for your birthday a couple years ago. You were really overjoyed about it; I even got your name engraved onto it. See, right here it says 'HAWKEYE'."

Instead of shutting him down immediately she picked up the gun and examined it closely, as if she had seen it before. "It was specially weighted and sized for me to hold." Her eyes widened as she realized what she just said. She dropped the gun and brought her hands to cover her mouth.

He put his hands on her shoulders and he could feel her shaking. Her hands dropped back down as she looked up at him, her eyes shimmering on the verge of tears. Her voice in that moment was akin to hearing angels sing as they welcomed you into heaven.

"Roy?"


	21. Chapter 21

The first thing she noticed was the stark resemblance this man had to her son. The hair, the eyes, the skin, even the face structure, they were identical. The more he spoke the more her mind kept telling her that she knew this man. She kept trying to push the resurfacing memories away.  _No, I don't want to know!_ Her memories were foggy but they were all returning, piece by piece. When she saw her name engraved in the gun everything clicked.

She remembered everything and stopped trying to resist.

At first it was almost too much to handle, the way she had been acting for the past ten months, making no effort to return to her post in the military. She had been denouncing them,  _despising_  them, when in reality she was one of them herself. She had been such a hypocrite. She had promised to put these feelings of guilt behind her and move forward but how could she? After seeing how much people suffered because of her actions. All because she was the one who passed down the secrets of flame alchemy-

"Roy?"

Had he been looking for her all these months? Had he been in pain thinking she was gone? She had caused everyone so much hurt. She had abandoned everyone who cared about her without a shred of regret, and she was ready to give all of them up for good.

"Riza, please don't cry."

She didn't know when she started crying. She wasn't even sure what kind of tears these were, angry tears for being so careless in the first place? Remorseful tears for putting everyone through so much anguish all these months? Ashamed tears because she had deceived the people of this town without knowing she was? "I'm so sorry; I didn't know what I was doing. I'm so sorry..."

He embraced her so that Riza's head was nestled into his chest. "It's okay, everything is alright. I'm just happy that you're here. I know you didn't know what you were doing but all that matters right now is that we're still both alive and together."

She finally figured out why she was crying.  _She was relieved._

The image of her in Roy's arms caused pandemonium amongst the Ishvalans.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing, he's the enemy!"

"Could it be, she was working for him all this time?!"

"That's not possible, there's no way Elizabeth is a bad person!"

"Get away from that man Elizabeth! Don't be brainwashed by the enemies!"

"Get her away from that man! She's in danger!"

_No, they were going to attack Roy!_ She had to do something. She wiped away her tears; this was no time to be crying. Above all else she was a soldier and it was her duty to protect this man for the sake of her country. "STOP!" She yelled as she turned around with her arms outstretched to block him, preventing them from approaching.

"Get away from him! He's going to hurt you! We need to protect you!"

"No! Please, don't hurt him! He means no harm! I trust him!"

The villagers were confused beyond belief. "Why are you defending him? H's the one who destroyed our town!"

She took a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm not Elizabeth. I have regained my memories. My name is Riza Hawkeye and I'm a Captain in the Amestrian military. I am also the personal aide and bodyguard to General Roy Mustang."

They looked at her in disbelief. "No, it can't be... the military... were you involved in the Ishval conflict?"

"I was there as a sniper."

Shocked gasps could be heard from most of the townspeople "You traitor! We trusted you! We let you into our town! You... you..."

"I'm sorry; I had no memories of that time. I did not mean to deceive you. There isn't an apology great enough for me to offer you so deal with me in any way you see fit, but I won't let you harm this man. If need be _, I'll protect him with my life_."

"Riza don't be senseless! They have every right to be angry at me!" Roy shouted.

"You have a dream Roy! To be at the top of the military so you can protect everyone with your own strength. A future where everyone can live in happiness! I know we did horrible things in the past but in order for us to be at peace you need to stay alive and achieve your dreams."

"No Riza, that may be my dream but in order for that to be true I have to start by protecting those who are closest to me in hopes that they will protect those who are close to them. If I can't protect the person who is closest to me those dreams have no meaning." She heard his voice crack and her heart broke. "While I still have that power I'll do everything I can to protect you."

"Roy-"

A villager spoke out. "Please, that's enough! Elizabeth you can stand down, we don't want to hurt you... we can't hurt you. You have been so kind to everyone in this town for the time you have been here, you treated all of us with kindness and we grew to love you. To us you're still the same Elizabeth, even if you were in the military it doesn't change the fact that you don't want to hurt us. You're still one of us. If we killed you it would only bring sorrow to the people of this town, you also have two kids that are still depending on you."

The villagers all backed down, even Josei didn't seem to be around anymore. "You guys, after all I did you have no right..."

"What good would getting revenge do us at this point? It would just make us hypocrites to avenge our families by killing people who don't want to fight back. If the Elizabeth we know says that we can trust this man, then I am obligated to believe her."

She was reminded of when she first ended up here; her first impression of them had been that they were all kind non violent people. They never wanted to hurt her from the start.

" _Pathetic,_  the people of my village are absolutely pathetic." She couldn't react quickly enough to stop Josei from scooping up the gun she dropped earlier and pointing it at her. "You aren't going to believe these murderers are you? They just want to gain your trust to lure you back to kill off the rest of you."

"I've already told you I'm willing to die to protect the ones I love. Put the gun down." Riza taunted.

"Oh don't worry, I've found a much more suitable candidate for the end of this gun." He had a vice grip on a person in his other hand and he chose that moment to pull her forward and press the barrel to her head. "While you were rambling on I took the time to find something that will help us get along a bit better."

"Mom! Mom help!" Amerie yelled from Josei's arms.

Riza panicked. "Don't you even try to save her, one more step and I'll shoot."

_"How dare you."_ Riza was brimming with anger now. "Let her go, I'll do anything you want. "

The villagers chimed in as well.

"Josei, what the hell is wrong with you? She's just a child!"

"You can't do this to her!"

"Josei this is enough! You've gone too far!"

Josei only smiled at the reaction. "Let me amend my prior statement, anyone here moves and I will shoot her."

Amerie was just bawling at this point. "Mom, help me! Please, I'm so scared..."

"I said tell me what you want!" Riza shouted viciously.

"I just want the perfect revenge. I'll let your daughter go as long as you move aside and let me plant this bullet in Mustang's head instead."

She felt her stomach drop to her knees when he gave her that ultimatum. There was no way she could either of them die but she could tell he was serious about shooting someone. "I can't let you do that!"

"Oh, I see how little you value your daughter's life."

"I can't let you shoot either of them! I..." She didn't know what to do. If she moved to do anything he could end Amerie's life in an instant. The only way to save her daughter's life was to offer up Mustang, but that was something she could never do. There was hardly any way to save her either; as if she went in for an attack he would use Amerie to shield him. There was literally nothing she could do.

"If you can't make up your mind quickly I'll just go ahead and shoot her." Josei said as he pressed the barrel harder into her head.

"If it's to save that girl's life, then you can go ahead and shoot me." Roy spoke up.

"No! Stay back! I can't let you die!" Riza didn't let him move from behind her. She had to do something but there were no plans. She was helpless and she knew it. "Please, don't do this..."

"If you refuse to surrender Mustang then it seems your time has run out."  _He wouldn't do it; he couldn't shoot an innocent child in cold blood._

When she heard the familiar sound of a gun firing pierce through the sudden silence, she realized how wrong she was.


	22. Chapter 22

Everything had happened in slow motion for him.

When the gun went off Riza screamed louder than he had ever heard her scream.

The fact that he couldn't do a thing was the only thought that went through his mind in that split second. He would have taken his life and in turn saved the life of a child, but there was no way Riza was ever going to let him do that. He felt helpless and guilty, the same feeling that tormented him every time he took a life in Ishval. This couldn't be happening again, after everything he worked for he still couldn't save the life of a child he swore to protect.

Then the moment caught up with him and the reality of the situation sunk in.

The man fell forward; a bullet had gone straight through the back of his head, killing him instantly.

When Riza finally realized that the little girl was still calling out for her she scrambled to her feet and plucked her out from beneath the dead man's body, holding her like she was the most precious being on this Earth.

When he regained his own sense of perception he looked back towards the scene to see a woman far in the distance holding a gun in her hand and shaking uncontrollably. It was clear that she had managed to fire her gun before the man could fire his, saving the girl's life.

Riza had noticed whathad happened and she immediately made her way over to the woman, telling the little girl to wait for just one moment. He followed closely behind.

As they approached she dropped the gun and fell to her knees. "I killed him...I  _killed_ him... he's dead." She kept repeating these words over and over.

Riza sank to her knees and put her hands on the woman's shoulders to stop her from shaking so violently. "Sabrina, please calm down." If it wasn't evident before that she was back to her old self he was certain now, only a soldier would be able evaluate the situation remain composed in light of what just happened.

"How can I be calm? I... I shot him. My own husband, I shot him without feeling any remorse." She was crying now, the tears were flowing freely.

"You did it because it was the right thing to do, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. You saved a life today, even if it meant taking the life of another." Riza said, trying to ease her guilt.

"It's just not justified! I know I did the right thing but I just... I still feel like I've done the wrong thing. We're supposed to stop the violence yet I've just killed one of my own, my husband at that."

Riza looked liked she was at a loss and he knew it wasn't his place to say anything but that didn't stop him from edging towards Riza and placing his own hand on the woman's shoulder. "Sabrina was it? I know you have no reason to trust me but you need to know you did the right thing." He glanced over at Riza and she gave him a questioning look, but he continued anyways. "I have had an agreement with my lieutenant since they day she started working for me. I told her to watch my back as my bodyguard, but that means she also has the authority to shoot me in the back if I ever stray from my path. That man had obviously strayed from his path a long time ago if he would endanger the people you care about. If I forgot my dreams of protecting the people and instead started to destroy them, the thing I would want most is for my lieutenant to shoot me and stop the suffering I caused by my own hand. I'm not sure if he's always been like this, but somewhere inside of him I'm sure he's thanking you for doing what you did."

She didn't stop crying and she clearly wasn't over what she had just done but she found it in herself to look at him without any hatred in her eyes. "Thank you, I'll try to remember that."

Right at that moment the little girl came rushing over yelling something about not wanting to wait by the dead guy anymore and she clung to Riza.

Sabrina finally smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes as she stood up. "Well that's that, I'm pretty sure everyone is confused but I'm going to try my best to calm them down, besides we're all going to have to prepare to move out soon. A newly rebuilt Ishval is waiting for us."

"Wait Sabrina—"Riza tried to speak.

"Don't worry, you can explain everything later when we have some time, for right now I think you have some more important things to attend to." With that she went to calm the crowds of Ishvalans and left the three of them by themselves.

He realized that he hadn't had the chance to be happy for Riza being back because of everything that happened since her memories returned. It was still so surreal to think that after all these months she had returned completely unharmed. He just wanted to kiss the daylights out of her and show him exactly how he felt but there was someone else who was taking all the attention away from him.

"Mom! I'm so sorry, this is my fault. I shouldn't have let him take me, but he was so strong... I couldn't do anything and I caused you to worry so much..."

"Shh Amerie, please calm down. What matters is that you're still alive and well, this was not your fault at all."

They looked adorable together, that's when it clicked in his mind that she had been calling Riza this entire time. "Um, Hawkeye, I don't mean to intrude, but since when did you become a mother?"

They both looked at him, Riza was taken aback but the little girl examined and then deemed him worthy of an explanation. "I know what you're worried about, I was an orphan and Miss Elizabeth took me in, so it's nothing weird. My name is Amerie, pleased to meet you."

Roy raised a questioning eyebrow at Riza. "Miss Elizabeth?"

Riza sighed. "It's a long story; I'll tell you everything when we get out of here."

Amerie took another long look at him before she continued to talk. "I'm assuming I get to call you dad then, right?"

Roy almost stumbled back he was so startled. "E-excuse me?" Riza glared at Amerie but he still saw the slight pink tint that graced to top of her cheeks.

"Well, I may have been adopted but my brother Aidan wasn't and you look exactly like him—oh no, Aidan! I almost forgot about him, he was still asleep when Josei grabbed me." She wriggled out of Riza's arms and started running as Riza followed her and he knew he should go after them as well.

They ran into a tent that was even smaller than the apartment he lived in back when was at Eastern command. He walked in to see them both peering into what seemed to be a crib.

"Aw mom, after all that and he's still asleep as if nothing even happened. I wish he slept like this throughout the night."

As Roy approached Riza turned around to look at him but she had trouble keeping eye contact. "Roy there's a lot I need to tell you but there is one important detail I can't skip out on." She took a deep breath and finally was able to keep her eyes locked on his. "About a month after I went missing I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't know how it happened and I didn't have any memories to recall any details of my life, but at that moment my heart told me to keep the baby."

Roy couldn't exactly believe what he was hearing. If what she was saying was true, that she was pregnant before she went missing then the only logical possibility was that he was the father of the baby sitting in that crib. "Riza but... how..." He swallowed loudly as she turned around and reached into the crib and picked up a tiny bundle of human, so delicate he was afraid to even look at it.

"I'm not sure if 'congratulations' would be the best word here since I kind of have to spring this on you without any warning, I'm sorry." She held the child out towards him. "His name is Aidan."

He may have been an infant but there was no doubt in his mind that this child belonged to him. He felt as though he was looking at a younger version of himself, the similarities were so stark. His arms moved by themselves towards him, he glanced at Riza and she nodded her head yes and he plucked the child out of her arms.

He wasn't an expert at holding children, the last time he held a baby was when Elysia was born and he was sure Maes convinced everyone to have a picture taken with his adorable newborn. He had laughed at Maes as he flaunted his child around like she was the greatest thing to ever exist but now he understood why he was that way. The feeling of knowing that you and the person who you loved the most have produced another living being wasn't something he could put into words. After all the lives that had been lost between the two of them it felt so wrong to say that he was a part of this new life, but at the same time he couldn't deny how overjoyed he was. He called Hughes a hypocrite all those years for wanting to love his wife and have a child after all the blood he had spilled. He finally understood why he was so set on moving forward and not letting the past get in the way of his future. It was this feeling.

He had been staring at the child for a solid minute now, unable to pry his eyes away from the blessing he held in his arms. "Roy, are you alright? I know this is a lot to take in."

"He's perfect." Roy whispered.

Riza smiled. Not a meager smile she let slip through her tough exterior as a soldier every now and then, this was an honest smile that he hadn't seen since they were young and they were living with her father.

The boy finally started to stir in his arms as his eyes turned to look up at him. He didn't expect much of a reaction from a newborn but he had hoped for a smile. Instead he was greeted by a blank stare and him trying to wriggle his way out of his grasp. When he failed to escape he just kind of stared at him looking kind of shocked. "Aidan Mustang has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Riza nodded cordially. "Yes, I like the sound of that."

* * *

The entire way back to the military base in Ishval he held Aidan in his arms. He refused to put him down for one second, as he had already missed an entire month of the child's life. He wanted him to get acquainted with him as soon as possible. Every time he held his finger out and he successfully grabbed a hold of it he'd just look over and Riza like an overexcited child himself and she'd just stop for a second and look at him in amazement in how well he'd taken the surprise news of being a father.

Riza spent most of the trip explaining to Amerie what her true life was like. She didn't take the news that she was involved in the war well; even though she wasn't able to recall any of it herself she still mourned the loss of her parents.

"You should know I never want you to think that you have to forgive me just because of the events in the past months. What I did was unforgivable and I know you have every right not to trust me anymore." Riza said grievously.

"I know what you did in the past was wrong but Nana once told me that everyone makes mistakes. After the way you've treated me, and how you even let me call you mom, there's no way anything you have done in the past will change my mind! I trust you because I know that you are a good person deep down, it's what's inside your heart that really matters. You said you did everything against what you thought was the right thing to do, meaning you really didn't want to kill anyone. Now you're trying to help us all... but the flame alchemist. "

Roy looked up from the baby when he heard his title. He had been listening and he knew that everyone in the camp have had their lives decimated by him, it wasn't any surprise that she was the same.

"The flame alchemist... is he really that guy sitting over there getting all giddy while playing with a baby? I thought he would be much... scarier."

Now it was Roy's turn to be completely shocked.

Riza, of all people, couldn't help but let a tiny giggle slip out. "Did I tell you that he's the mastermind behind rebuilding Ishval? I may be his second in command but rebuilding what had been destroyed in the war was his idea. Almost all the Ishvalan survivors are now living in a newly rebuilt home. If it weren't for him everyone would still be living in unsafe conditions."

"Why does he want to help us after everything he did back in the war?" Amerie asked.

"He has always had a dream to make this country a safe place for everyone to live, even though we did a lot of things that we shouldn't have done the only reason we continue to live on is because we know we can help this country." Riza explained she best she could.

"Well, It's obvious that you trust him, you wouldn't have made a baby with him if you didn't," Again she had said something offhandedly inappropriate which caused both Riza and Roy to stare uncomfortably at the floor. "And it's obvious that he loves my brother and you very much. I'll take your word for it and learn to trust him as well." She hopped out of her seat and stood in front of him. "I introduced myself earlier but you didn't do the same, and I have to let you know my brother and I may not have the same blood running through our veins but we're still a package deal. You can't take him without me."

The girl was pretty good at taking charge, she almost reminded him a bit of himself as a child. She was a good speaker. He held his hand out for her to shake. "General Roy Mustang of the Amestrian military, flame alchemist, and a new father to a baby boy, and hopefully a lovely little girl as well."

She slapped his hand away and turned back around. "Don't think you're going to win me over with flattery." She promptly walked over and sat herself right back down beside Riza. "I'll give you a week. Right now you only have part of my trust! If you can convince me you're a good guy I'll give you all of my trust, got that?"

Roy and Riza both exchanged glances and he couldn't help but laugh aloud. This girl was wildly spirited and he absolutely loved it. "You got it, I'll earn your trust and I doubt it'll take a full week."

"Is that a bet!? I mean, I don't really have anything to offer, but I still want to make it a bet!" Amerie said as she pointed a finger at him.

"Alright, it's a bet! I'll have you know I don't take kindly to losing." The passionate conversation ended abruptly after the cries of an infant echoed throughout the carriage. "Oh no, what do I do?"

Riza got up and walked towards him. "Relax, he hasn't had a diaper change in a while that's probably it." Roy's face twisted in distaste and he tried to hide it before Riza could see him, but it was too late. "I'm going to do it this time but when we get back I think I'm going to have to teach you the responsibilities of being a dad,  _other_  than playing with him."

He just nodded and sulked back down into his seat as Amerie laughed at him.

* * *

As he expected, Havoc, Breda, and Fuery were waiting for them when they got back. Fuery had even brought Hayate with him.

"Welcome back boss- what is that?" Havoc said pointing to the baby in his arms. "A baby? You were only gone for a month and you had a baby? What... wait that doesn't even make sense, it looks exactly like you though..."

"Full explanations will come later, the important things you have to know is that I'm a father and this is my son, and—"He was interrupted by Hayate speeding back him and into the carriage.

"Hayate enough licking, I missed you too!" Riza's voice sounded behind him.

Three heads instantly focused behind him and Riza Hawkeye appeared in front of them. They all just stared wide-eyed at her; as if they thought she was just an illusion.

Riza smiled down at them. "I believe a salute should be your first order of business when you're in the presence of a superior officer."

It seemed that was all they needed to make sure it was actually her as they all ran towards her, skipping any sort of formalities and going right in for a hug. He was sure they all had tears running down their faces, Fuery was openly sobbing. They were all very close but for Riza the team was sort of like her makeshift family, as the only other person she had left in her real family was the Fuhrer. Even Riza was having trouble holding back on the tears as she was embraced by them. "How is this even possible... we all thought you were..." Havoc started.

"I'm here now, and that's what matters." Riza finished.

"Um, mom, are these more of your friends?" Amerie poked her head out from behind, obviously feeling left out.

She saw them all start staring at her and before they could say anything she clarified, "Long story short I hit my head, lost my memories, lived in an Ishvalan camp, found out I was pregnant, adopted my daughter Amerie, and had my son Aidan. Save any further questions for later please."

If they were shocked to see her in the beginning Roy was sure he could hear the sound of all three of their jaws hitting the floor simultaneously after she said that.

"Not only that, it's because of her I was able to retrieve all the misplaced Ishvalans, as the last group are on their way here." Roy said.

Havoc picked his jaw up off the floor and looked over at Roy. "Wait, they're all back, meaning that your mission was a success? Your promotion to Fuhrer is officially settled?"

Roy smirked as Riza walked up to him and plucked Aidan out of his hands. "Wait, Fuhrer? You're being promoted to Fuhrer already?"

"Grumman is going to be stepping down prematurely and he's already made it clear I'm the only candidate he's ever considered to replace him." He expected Riza would be the one to burst into tears now; instead he was met by a rather unsettling look on her face.

"General, can we please talk... alone." Now he knew something was wrong. She handed Aidan over to her daughter. "Amerie, watch Aidan. The three of you, watch Amerie." She was about to walk away with Roy but she turned back around. "Hayate, watch those three."

Hayate yipped cheerfully and went into full guard dog mode.

* * *

Ishval military command seemed to be busier than usual, so they both found themselves back in Roy's office to get some privacy. The walk up garnered a lot of strange looks as they weren't sure if they were really witnessing Captain Hawkeye, but they both tried to hurry as much as possible so that they wouldn't be stopped and questioned.

Roy leaned against his desk and crossed his arms. "You're not happy about this, are you?"

"You should've told me earlier." Riza stood directly in front of him, glaring at him sharply.

"We just got back, besides I wanted to keep it as a surprise, leave it to Havoc to ruin my plans."

"Roy this is serious, you do remember your dreams? What this promotion really constitutes?" She put a hand on her forehead and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself. I never wanted kids in the picture. It doesn't mesh well with our careers at all and now that you're on the verge of becoming Fuhrer already..."

Roy knew exactly what she was getting at. "Riza, our dream was to make this country a better place, where everyone can live in happiness. You told me that it was your heart that told you to keep the baby earlier, you wanted that baby. You adopted Amerie in good will as well."

"Well yes, I'd love to have children if we lived a different life, but it's inappropriate to even think about raising children after everything we've done, yet no matter how hard I try I can't regret any of the decisions I've made over the past ten months."

It tore Roy apart to see how distraught Riza was by this entire situation. She was a strong woman and hardly ever faltered when it came to making difficult decisions, but this situation just seemed to overwhelm her completely. "You shouldn't feel bad about pursuing your own happiness." He walked up and put his hand on her shoulder. "I know back then we thought we were nothing, after all we did we thought we deserved to die for what we've done. The only reason we continued to live on was because we wanted to make this country a better place so that nobody would ever have to suffer like the way everyone involved in that war did. We live for a future where  _everyone_ can be happy, and even if we know that we don't deserve it there are now two people who need us to carry on living to ensure that their future will be filled with happiness. It would be selfish for us to deny them that."

"It feels wrong to not go through with something I've spent most of my life trying to accept. Those two children have been the only things that have ever managed to make my thoughts waver. We agreed after the Promised Day to live on and accept our relationship, I don't understand why this is so much more difficult."

"It reminds me of Hughes, his reason for fighting was to stay alive. I told him back then that he was selfish for wanting to continue to be with the woman he loved after there was all that blood on his hands. He cared immensely for her and would do anything to make sure that she was happy. I cared for you as well but back then we were broken soldiers and together we declined until we convinced ourselves that our human lives were worthless. It is only now that I truly see how valuable our lives are, and no matter the past we should embrace the feelings of those around us and try our best to stay alive for their sake. He was my best friend but I always thought he had a nonsensical obsession with his family, everything makes sense now." The hand on her shoulder turned into a full blown hug. "I still think we should be tried for our crimes but for now we live for the present and for our family. If in the far future something happens to us, so be it, but I refuse to leave my family behind before I've had a chance to make sure they live the life they deserve."

Roy could feel her grip tighten around him. "You know, for being such an idiot sometimes you're really good at convincing people that you're right."

"It's a skill someone who is aiming to be Fuhrer would hope to possess." That reminded him of something. He wiggled out of the hug and went over to his desk. He rustled through the drawers before he found the piece of paper he was looking for and placed it on the top of his desk. "This form, I'd like you to sign it." He held out a pen.

Riza walked up to his desk and read over the form as her eyes widened. "Fraternization law exemptions form... only grandfather could think of something as farfetched as this."

"Seeing as that you have a baby that looks exactly like me there's no way we are going to be able to keep our relationship under wraps for any longer, and I'd say having you as my first lady would probably leave a good impression when I become Fuhrer."

She smiled as she signed the form willfully. "So you want to marry me?" She said in a lighthearted tone, obviously teasing him.

"We've had this discussion before. I agreed to your conditions and you agreed to get married to me." He said, mimicking the tone Riza had used.

"Is that so? I'm not exactly one to follow tradition, but I think one would need a ring if they actually wanted to propose."

He pulled out the velvet box that had been sitting in his desk drawer all these months and set it down in front of her. She looked at him and then picked up the box and opened it. It was a simple ring, one tiny diamond in the middle and a plain silver band. He knew she wouldn't appreciate anything fancy, she would probably get angry if he had went all out and spent a lot of money on it.

Riza couldn't help but smile at the sight of the ring. "You were always one for these silly formalities, weren't you?"

"Is your answer a yes then?" He looked at her expectantly.

She just grinned at him for a while before she blurted out, "Of course, it's a yes."

He slipped the ring onto her finger and dived in for a kiss to seal the deal.

The stage of his life in which he couldn't look towards the future without having to look back at the past was finally over. From now on he made sure to cherish everything he had and never doubt his worth in the eyes of the ones who loved him.

On the outside he was the same, but he knew that deep inside he had been reborn a better man.


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_**One Year Later** _

Sometimes she wondered if she deserved this happy ending.

The scattered rays of sunlight gleamed through the curtains, rousing her from her sleep. As she tried to sit up she was stopped by two strong arms keeping her latched to the warm body next to her. The sunlight hadn't caused him to stir; he was sleeping like a log.

She glanced over and studied his sleeping face.  _Still as perfect as ever_ , she thought to herself. It was a miracle that he was even alive right now. After all the stories she had heard about what happened when she disappeared she knew that staying by his side was the most important thing she could do for him. Unfortunately she had succumbed to the role of motherhood over the past year and as a result she had to  _temporarily_ leave her post as Roy's aide until Aidan was old enough to be enrolled in daycare. She could hire some sort of nanny but even her strong urge to get back to work couldn't take her away from spending time with her baby.

She and Roy had tied the knot one month earlier. They had hoped for something small but when you had Roy Mustang attending, who was a well known name in the military for obvious reasons, and the Fuhrer himself as guests it was hard to have a quiet get together with only close family and friends. Now they all lived together under the same roof of a moderately sized house. Roy had accumulated a small fortune over the past years but still didn't see the need to buy anything as frivolous as a mansion just for the four of them. Their family had been functioning quite nicely so far. Amerie had gotten used to Roy and now they were practically inseparable. She should have noticed how similar they were in the first place, maybe that why she loved the both of them so much. The Ishval reconstruction was still going on but it was now in its final stages and the project was handed over to Miles to oversee it to completion. When Roy took Amerie as his own daughter it seemed to be the final step in patching up the relations between Ishval and the rest of Amestris, she acted like a symbol of peace between the two cultures and there hadn't been any sort of act of rebellion for a year.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of crying and Roy shooting up from his sleeping position to a sitting position automatically. "Riza no, go back to sleep, I'll..." He yawned loudly. "I'll take care of Aidan, you just get some sleep."

Another reason Roy was such a perfect husband, he almost felt bad that he was off working all day and wasn't able to help out with Aidan at all so whenever the crying started in the middle of the night he would insist on taking care of him so that Riza could get a full night's rest. "Relax; take a look out the window. It's already morning; you need to start getting ready yourself. Today's the big day."

Today was the day they had waiting for, Roy's inauguration.

* * *

"Mom, when can we go inside? It's too crowded here." Amerie nagged as she tucked on the sleeve of Riza's shirt.

"Amerie just wait, we'll get to go inside as soon as the ceremony is over." Even though they had specially reserved seats in the front it was hard to ignore the chatter coming from all directions.

"When is this thing going to start?" Amerie asked.

"It should start at any moment." In fact, the ceremony was running almost 45 minutes late and there had been no explanation. She certainly hoped everything was going fine, she felt incredibly useless not being able to be behind the scenes. Even though she was not on duty she found herself surveying the security and making sure there were no holes in the defense. The last thing she wanted was some sort of breech during the presentation.

"Da!" Aiden spoke along with some other babbled words as he squirmed around in her arms.

"That's right Aidan, your dad is going to be up there on stage soon and he's going to become Fuhrer. That means your dad's going to be in charge of the entire country!" She was a little bitter that the only word her son could say was 'Da' and not 'Ma' but from the amount of time Roy spent just talking to his baby she couldn't be surprised.

"That's great and all but the least they could do is hurry up and get on with it." Amerie said with a pout.

Finally the audience roared behind them as Grumman took the stage and addressed the crowd. Before they knew it Grumman was done talking and Roy finally took to the stage with him. He had his hair slicked back in the sway he didn't quite like, he would have to get used to that style at some point. He wore a military jacket in the style of the one the Fuhrer was usually assigned except it was missing some of the stars that would be added onto the jacket as part of the ceremony.

Everything was going smoothly until she heard someone discreetly calling out to her. "Psst, Riza! Over here!" She spotted Havoc running towards her and waving a piece of paper.

"Havoc, what's going on?"

He shoved the paper into her hands. "We spent hours working on this speech, we practiced it, it addresses everything it needs to, and it's perfect. Why didn't Roy bother to take it up on stage with him?"

"Relax Jean; he probably already has the whole thing memorized. Don't underestimate him."

"I seriously doubt that, we've been trying to get him to memorize it all week but yesterday he just gave up and told us he'd just try and get the paper up on stage with him. Obviously, that didn't happen."

The microphone sounded from the stage. "And now, the newly appointed Fuhrer Roy Mustang will give his inaugural address!"

"It's okay, He probably has something planned, who knows maybe he did memorize it and didn't bother to tell you." She was a bit worried but she believed whatever Roy was doing he had it all figured out.

Roy approached the podium, no papers in sight. Brimming with confidence he stared at the crowd until everyone had stopped applauding and they were giving him their full attention. "My fellow people of Amestris, I'm up here to ask you one simple question. Is this really what you want?"

The hum of confused whispers could be heard from the crowd. Jean looked over at Riza with a pained expression, making it clear that this was not part of the original speech.

"Let me rephrase that. I have been appointed by my predecessor Fuhrer Grumman to run this country under a military rule. If it were up to the people of Amestris, would you choose me to run this country? Most of you know me as the Flame Alchemist, a hero of Ishval, and as the one who orchestrated an upheaval to bring down the corrupt Bradley regime. I'm not up here to lie to you, and there is more to my story than what you have read in the papers."

"Riza I need to get someone up there to stop him. I'm afraid if he continues he might lose the support of an entire nation in the next five minutes." Havoc pleaded with her.

"No, wait. Roy knows what he's doing, just have a little faith. I'll tell you if we need to step in. I may not be on active duty right now but I still outrank you, no action will be taken unless I say so, understood?"

Havoc had no option but to nod and continue to listen to the speech.

"I joined the military with the intention of working to help the people of this country. When I was appointed as a state alchemist I was sent to a war ground and told to kill the people of this country instead. I did not resist, I chose to kill."

The silence across the crowd was almost eerie. She was sure most of them didn't know what to think.

"People have called me a hero for what I've done, but the only word I would choose to describe myself would be  _murderer._  "

Havoc looked like he was about to pass out. Riza tried to calm him down by rubbing his shoulder with her free hand.

"There is no such thing as turning back time and erasing my wrongdoings. Instead I chose to continue my life with a single goal in mind, to become ruler of this country and make sure nothing like Ishval ever happens again. I'll do my best to protect everyone from my position at the top of this country, as long as every one of you does your part and protect the ones you love as well."

Riza could see that the crowd was confused.

"With all of you knowing my true nature I'll ask you this question again, is this really what you want? Do you want someone like me running this country? If the answer is yes then great, I'm happy to have you in my company. If the answer is no, then you are the person who needs to support me the  _most_."

Riza swore she heard a scoff come from the back of the crowd. She hoped it was just her imagination.

"I care about the voice of each and every one of you and my goal is to work towards turning our government into a democracy. I will not step down until the one elected after me will be decided by the people of this country."

Less confused faces, the hum of people whispering once more. People were intrigued by his words.

"I may not be a saint but I have always had a dream to turn this country around. I'm sure the day will come when I have to face the reality of my sins and accept whatever punishment is waiting for me, but for now I have a job to do. Whether it is as a new father to two wonderful children or the new Fuhrer of the great nation of Amestris, I hope when the day comes where all of your voices will be heard, I'll still be the one you would choose."

Finally, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you all for listening and I hope that we can all help guide Amestris towards a brighter future." Roy moved away from the microphone and simply gazed into the crowd, signalling that he was finished.

At first it was silent. She was about to panic when Havoc stood up and started cheering and clapping with all his might. He looked silly at first glance but she saw what he was doing and decided to throw in a cheer of her own and told Amerie to start clapping as well.

Eventually more people started to join in until the whole crowd was booming with applause for her husband. She couldn't have been more proud of him. Stage one was finally completed and she couldn't wait to stand by his side as the first lady and his second in command while he turns this country around.

* * *

"Riza! Did you—ow! What was that for?" She had slapped him on the side of the head.

"That was for being an idiot and making up your entire speech on the spot. Do you even realize how badly that could've gone Roy?"

"Relax; it all turned out just fine in the end. Aidan, you liked my speech, didn't you?" He plucked him from Riza's grip and hugged him to his chest.

"Daaa!" Aidan yipped excitedly at the sight of his father.

"See! Aidan agrees with me." Roy declared proudly.

"Say all you want, you almost game poor Lieutenant Havoc a heart attack. Perhaps next time you could at least warn your close friends first."

"I'm pretty sure the whole inaugural address is only going to be a onetime thing, but I'll keep that in mind."

She couldn't stay mad at him for long, today was too important to spend it being upset over little things. Watching Roy hold their child in his arms, to see him genuinely smiling and laughing, it almost felt surreal.

"Are you okay Riza? You're looking at me funny." Roy asked.

"It's nothing really; it's just, is it okay for us to be here like this? Everything just feels so...  _right_."

Roy smiled. "We've had this discussion before Riza, for once let's just try to embrace this feeling for all that it's worth. After everything we've been through, I think we've earned at least this moment to be completely at ease. Just stop fighting the feeling."

Roy's words calmed her down and let her forget her past for a moment, but she knew it wouldn't last long.

If she were given a chance to be reborn as a new woman she would take it. She would erase her past in a heartbeat, and she knew Roy would as well. They lived each day unsure that they deserved to be alive.

Then two extraordinary children somehow made their way into her life as if it were meant to be. She knew she never wanted any of this but looking at both of them with Roy was the first time in a very long time that she truly believed that she was still here for a reason other than to help the country and somehow atone for her sins. It was the first time in her life that she didn't wish things had gone differently. It was the first time in her life that she felt this feeling inside her chest that could only be described as  _overwhelming joy_.

She didn't know how long it would be until they both stopped riding this high and stepped back down to face reality, because she knew it would come back at some point, but she knew that if it lasted for years, months, or even just days, at this singular moment in time she was genuinely happy.

Today, that was all that mattered.


End file.
